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Sibling Quarrels: Set Rules And Acts

Questioner

S (36-male-UK)

Reply Date

Nov 30, 2018

Question

I have 2 children aged 10 and 13. they are good youngsters and outside they behave well, but at home they are constantly arguing and bickering with each other and there is always rivalry and quarrels. I feel like I spend half my life disciplining one or the other. Is there anything I can do to help them get along and stop the conflicts?

Counselor

Answer


Sibling Quarrels

In this counseling answer:

•Parents are entitled to set rules, and I would strongly suggest that when they bicker, it would help if the more aggressive of the two could be moved to a different room and distracted with something else to think about.

•Remember, brothers and sisters can fight quite fiercely, but if anyone attacked them, they would soon rally to each other’s defense.


As-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullahi, dear brother.

I can assure you that it is extremely common for brothers and sisters to bicker with each other as they enter their teens. If they are behaving well outside the home, then count your blessings for that, at least.

As youngsters grow up, they begin to feel the need for space of their own, and it may be that your two would appreciate rooms of their own if that is possible; or if they share a room, then at least allocate the space clearly and set out boundaries.


Check out this counseling video


They are two different growing people, and their characters will possibly become very different as their interests develop. It is important for you as parents to remain calm and loving, not to take sides or make favorites of one or the other. Be as firm and fair as you possibly can. I was one of six children, and we were squashed in our space, yet we managed somehow.

Parents are entitled to set rules, and I would strongly suggest that when they bicker, it would help if the more aggressive of the two could be moved to a different room and distracted with something else to think about. Remember, brothers and sisters can fight quite fiercely, but if anyone attacked them, they would soon rally to each other’s defense.

God bless you, wa salam

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