Answer

Mona Salama

25 September, 2017

As-Salamu`alaykum dear sister,

May Allah bless you and your son. I know that lack of sleep is probably driving you crazy. I used to tell every one at similar times that they use the sleep deprivation as a kind of torture.

First, you might be satisfied to know that you are not alone. Statistics show that 40% of children under age 5 keep their parents up at night, and 1 out of 3 babies has colic, according to American Academy of Pediatrics.

Babies normally sleep a lot — just not always when you want them to. It takes time for their sleep to settle into a regular rhythm.

Babies’ sleep, especially in the early months, is typically full of interruptions. They have shorter cycles which grows longer as they grow, and they gradually learn how to return to sleep by themselves, if they wake up in the middle of the night.

To know your child’s unique sleeping habits, of when, how often and how long does he sleeps, and also the number and frequency of his naps, you can simply fill out a chart every day. It will help you to get a more correct view of the situation and you will feel more in control of your life.

Below are some general guidelines of the sleeping hours of children at 9-18 months. Of course, every child is different, thus these are the very general rules.

As he gets older, he will probably stop napping and start doing most of his sleeping at night.

Keep in mind that most children need lots of sleep as it is essential to their metabolism and bio-cellular activity. If the child has poor sleep habits i.e. go to bed late, usually sleeps in the car, feels drowsy or irritable most of the day, then he is probably not getting enough sleep, and you’ll need to help him develop good sleep habits and set an appropriate bedtime. Then he’ll get all the sleep he needs to be bright-eyed and active as you wish.

Babies usually start sleeping through the night sometime between 6 weeks and 6 months of age. The broad range you see depends upon your behavior and his development. The earlier you establish a healthy sleeping habits, the sooner he sleeps well at night.

Since he is 9 months now, you need to start immediately establishing a good sleeping habits from which you can establish when it is appropriate for you to sleep.

Develop and follow a bedtime routine.

• Create  a consistent, soothing bedtime routine and adhere to an appropriate nap and bedtime schedule. Sometime between 7 and 8:30 p.m. is a good bedtime for infants, and your baby should not nap past 4 p.m. or he’s likely to have problems falling asleep at night.
• These routine may include giving him a bath, playing a quiet game,  singing a nice smooth children songs by your voice, putting on pajamas, reading a story, and having a cuddle,
• Make sure that he is comfortable with the room temperature and is well fitting in his pajamas. He may also feel more at ease with a drink of water, a night-light, or the door left slightly open.
• You can also have a chat. You don’t have to wait until your baby gets older. Simply review his day for him. It relaxes him.
• Make sure you do it in the same order and at the same time every night. Your child will appreciate the consistency (babies like having routines and schedules they can count on), and your bedtime ritual will also signal that it’s time to wind down and get ready for sleep. You will find ffeding times also affect when a child can settle down for the night.

But why do Babies often wakes up at night or have difficulty falling asleep at this age?

• Separation anxiety: He misses you when you’re not there and is worried you won’t return. He’s likely to calm down as soon as you enter the room and greet him.
• Reaching major developmental milestones in cognitive and motor development e.g. sit up, roll over, crawl, and possibly even pull himself up to a standing position these achievements may get him so excited and not wanting to stop practicing them at night. Sometimes, he gets stuck in the standing position and this takes sometimes from you to teach him to unstuck himself.
• Be sure he is not hungry or over fed, almost nothing makes a baby fussier than hunger.
• Any of the following events, and other similar changes, can cause sleep disruption:

1. Changes in the family’s routine, such as a trip, someone’s absence, an illness, a move to a new room etc.
2. A new separation from the significant adult
3. The onset of “stranger anxiety” (usually around eight to nine months)
4. Teething
5. Unaccustomed to visitors/strangers
6. If any of these changes has occurred, you must first address the new situation. With an illness or teething, wait for it to pass. With changes involving separation or greater mobility, allow some time for adjustment and increase your physical closeness during the day.

Experts here have two opposite opinions:

The first says that mothers, who routinely bring their babies to bed with them, get more sleep than those who try to keep their babies away and the children are more stable and secure.

The second opinion stat that is it is very important to start putting your baby down in the crib awake every time he goes to sleep. he needs to learn to fall asleep on her own, but this is more keepin with contemporary lifestyles which does not allow for natural parenting.

You are free to choose whatever opinion you prefer, but my advice is:

The child who is emotionally satisfied is more stable, so I prefer to keep my child with me in the same bed first then after few weeks I remove him to another bed in the same room, then gradually try to make him love his room by making most of the breast feeding, and the games and the chatting there. You will be surprised when you see that he is urging you to go there if he needs one of these things, and when he wakes up at night, he wont be frightened because he already loves his room. You can stay with him until he goes back to sleep, and keep your room door opened, so he can feel free to come back, gradually you will find him sleeping the whole night in his room.

If he’s still not sleeping, then it’s time to consult your child’s physician or a sleep specialist.

Now, your question about giving honey to children. I am aware that most of pediatricians wouldn’t prefer giving it before 12 months for fear of Botulism, but I as a nutritionist, give my children honey after 6th month of age, and I never saw a case of botulism from honey where I live, but in some states and in Canada I know of some cases, so to cut the long story short, if you know of such cases in your area wait after 12 months ,if not give him now.

Honey is a very nutritious substance, it increases body immunity against various viral bacterial and fungal diseases, it keeps the gastrointestinal tract healthy. and it is a potent ant allergic.

The best way to take honey is by dissolving it in water “Honey Drink” without any heat and early in the morning, that’s how Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) used to drink it.

Allah says in the holy Qur’an:

{ And your Lord revealed to the bee saying: Make hives in the mountains and in the trees and in what they build, Then eat of all the fruits and walk in the ways of your Lord submissively. There comes forth from within it a beverage of many colors, in which there is healing for men; most surely there is a sign in this for a people who reflect }   (An Nahl 16: 68-69)

As for du`aa` for the unsettled children, yes al-hamdu lillah they are plenty, here I will only give you some:

First, you should mention the name of Allah before entering or leaving the house and before and after eating, it keeps away evil from house and food.

To protect children: (taken from the book of “Fortification of the Muslim through remembrance and supplication from the Qur’an and the Sunnah” )

1-Ibn ‘Abaas related that the Messenger of Allaah (S) used to commend Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn to Allah’s protection, saying: “I commend you two to the protection of Allah’s perfect words from every devil, vermin, and every evil eye.”

2-Also Ayat Al-Kursi (Al-Baqarah, Ayah 255) in the morning, will keep him under the protection of Allah Most High until the evening. Similarly, whomsoever reads this during the night, will keep him under the protection of Allah Most High until the morning.

3-“I take refuge in Allah’s perfect words from the evil that He has created”
4-“I place you in the trust of Allah, whose trust is never misplaced”

5-“I take refuge within Allah’s perfect words which no righteous or unrighteous person can transgress, from all the evil that He has created, made and originated. (I take refuge) from the evil that descends fro the sky and the evil that rises up to it. (I take refuge) from the evil that is spread on Earth and the evil that springs from her, and I take refuge from the evil of the tribulations of night and day, and the evil of one who visits at night except the one who brings good, O Merciful One” (Bukhari)

And you will find in sha’ Allah how calm and serene he is because Allah simulates dhikrto a fort when you start remembering Him you enter his fort and become under His protection who can ever harm you ?

Don’t forget the society section in your du`aa` and May Allah bless you all.

And finally – Any good is from Allah and any mistakes are from myself.

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