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How to Overcome My Fear of “Unknown” for My Child?

29 May, 2022
Q I wrote seven years ago about my first child and his genetic defect. Unfortunately, my son was born with a genetic defect. I am grateful to Allah that his condition is mainly related to his lungs and digestive system. He takes a lot of medication and physiotherapy. On a positive note, he goes to school, loves making friends, and is absolutely dearest to me. Allah also gifted me with two more kids and no defects there. It has been more than a Miracle.

I struggle emotionally to make sure that he doesn't catch any viruses as it can have devastating impact. The medication for his condition has evolved, and kids born today are expected to live almost normal lives. Hence quality of life has improved. My spiritual life has evolved too where my understanding of Allah has improved, and I have started to see Him behind every little progress I make.

My main concern is the fear of the unknown for him. What he touched, ate, any bugs, too many people around him? Etc. I don't know how to cope with this.

Thankfully he is hardly sick, but my fear of his utmost protection remains. Allah has of course helped my mental health by keeping him healthy but I fear. Fear about things that may not happen to him or exist. He's been hospitalized and I was there for him. We have an extremely close bond, also with the other kids. I have put my issues behind me and have other priorities in life now. I understand what happened to me. That was from Allah and how He helped me overcome those issues was indeed his blessing.

I greatly appreciate your counseling service and my prayers are with you. My journey to self discovery through God remains and is not easy. But at the same time, it's interesting and it's challenging. Many thanks

Answer

The fear of losing your loved ones, especially your own child is natural and normal. No matter whether they are still newborns or grown-up adults, blessed with strong health or struggle with illness; your feelings of care and worries will always be there.

Of course, if your child is more vulnerable, these sentiments could be more intense. Taking these fears as tests from Allah, about the ultimate trust in His wisdom, would ease your worries in sha Allah.

Listen to sister Aishaꞌs advice on trust as an opportunity for spiritual growth.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.