Answer
In this counseling answer:
“In order to exercise love, you have to be able to show your passion, your kindness, your whole-hearted emotions, but at the same time, you have to be able to set rules for the family. Be firm in setting these rules. At the same time, be understanding to their needs and their nature as children.”
As-salamu `alaykum
This is not an easy question. However, there are some concepts, when performed in an appropriate and balanced way, which will give you a satisfactory net result of the following hard equation:
Discipline = Love + Firmness
In order to exercise love, you have to be able to show your passion, your kindness, your whole-hearted emotions, but at the same time, you have to be able to set rules for the family. Be firm in setting these rules. At the same time, be understanding to their needs and their nature as children. For example, kids like to play around, have fun, explore everything, but there are limits and rules to that, such as when to play, where to play, and how long to play.
- Try always to tell your kids in advance what is expected of them
- Tell them that you do not mind when they have fun and play, but they have to tidy their room afterwards this way, they will learn from a very early stage how to balance between their rights and their obligations.
- Be understanding if they are unable to follow the rules all the time; this is just natural and human
- Be there to remind them in a firm but loving voice
- Leave space for them to do things wrong, to make mistakes, and so learn from their own experiences, but always be supportive, and with loving words explain what went wrong and why
You cannot imagine how much kids understand, even at an early age.
Remember, Discipline = Love + Firmness
(From Ask About Parenting archives)
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