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My Boss Does Not Pray, I’m Afraid for His Kids

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 07, 2019

Question

As salaam Alaikum, My boss is a Pakistani Muslim who is married to a white American woman. They've 2 kids now. He is not religious, never prays, not even juma or eid prayers. I always encourages him but he only says yes and never shows any interest. I understand that even though he is not religious, still his heart is good which is enough to save him from hellfire. However, I am afraid that his kids will not have iman because they will never see their parents pray or even discuss Islam. What is the best way to persuade him? Please help me. He is a nice man. He helped me a lot when I was new in USA. He listens to me whatever I say and treats me like his brother. Only he is ignorant about deen. Help me, brother. I pray to Allah every day. I hope my prayer is accepted.

Counselor

Answer


My Boss Does Not Pray, I’m Afraid for His Kids?

In this counseling answer:

•Invite your boss and his wife over for dinner or tea occasionally. To be his brother and friend and foster a friendship between your family and this may have a positive effect on his Islam. Without talking about it, you will be able to illustrate the benefits and joys of practicing Islam through your home.

•If you are not married, you can still invite him over for dinner or coffee. When it is time for prayer, ask him if he would like to pray for you and if not just tell him okay, I will be right back. Insha’Allah a home environment may be less intimidating than going to a Masjid when first returning to prayer”


As salamu alaykum dear brother,

Thank you for writing to us. May Allah swt bless you for your care and concern for your boss and his family regarding his deen, the future of his children in regards to Islam as well as his family’s well being. You sound like a very good friend and brother in Islam indeed

.Often times brother, people grow up with Islam as a more of a cultural expression than a religious conviction. They may love Allah, they may have learned the basics about Islam but never really assimilated Islam into their hearts as that was not the way they were raised.  For some people, it is just a part of their cultural expression.

His being married to someone of another ethnicity, country, and faith really has nothing to do with the way he practices his deen. Either one prays, follows Islam-or they don’t.  There are many Muslims married to Muslims who do not pray, fast or practice Islam.


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They are Muslim in name only. Then there are Muslim marriages wherein one practice Islam and the other Muslim spouse does not. While these are all imbalances, it boils down to one thing-we alone as responsible for our Islam and our relationship with Allah swt. No one can make us stop loving or worshiping Allah, no one.

I would kindly suggest brother that if you are married as well, that you invite your boss and his wife over for dinner or tea occasionally. To be his brother and friend and foster a friendship between your family and this may have a positive effect on his Islam.

Without talking about it, you will be able to illustrate the benefits and joys of practicing Islam through your home, behavior as well as your wife (if you are married). If you are not married, you can still invite him over for dinner or coffee. When it is time for prayer, ask him if he would like to pray for you and if not just tell him okay, I will be right back. Insha’Allah a home environment may be less intimidating than going to a Masjid when first returning to prayer.

Insha’Allah these acts of kindness (inviting him over) and acts of worship will inspire him to begin practicing Islam. Sometimes when one has drifted away from Islam, or if they were not raised with Islam as a concrete way of life, there is often guilt or shame associated with returning to worship, hence the reluctance.

By being a good friend and brother who is non-judgmental but rather lovingly encouraging, insha’Allah, Allah swt will open his heart to practice.  Insha’Allah, once he begins practicing, Allah will touch his wife’s heart as well and the children.

We never know brother how our actions, our encouragement, and our kindness will affect others.  I kindly suggest brother that you continue to make duaa to Allah for your boss, continue to extend an invite for prayer as well as invite him over for social times to increase his exposure to your pious Islamic way of life.

Insha’Allah your boss will see the light and follow the kalma that is still in his heart.  We wish you the best and keep you both in our prayers.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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