Short Answer: Only Allah knows what is good for us and only He knows the right time. We are not aware whether our supplications will bring us joy and betterment, or cause our own misery, downfall and destruction. Instead, we should perform the istikharah prayer in order to ask Allah to guide us regarding what we want. Whatever He decrees is for our own good, even if we cannot fathom just how, at first.
Assalamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
I ask Allah to grant you ease, sister.
Please remember that Allah possesses infinite wisdom and knowledge of realities.
Only Allah Knows
Many a time, we as weak human beings ask Allah for things, happenings, or particular blessings, without really knowing whether they will be good for us or not.
We are not aware whether they will bring us joy and betterment, or cause our own misery, downfall, and destruction.
There is one particularly good example of this: When Pharaoh and his wife took the baby Moses into their own home, deciding to raise him as their son, do you think the haughty Pharaoh knew that he was raising a boy who would become the cause of his own future downfall and death?
And, perchance he had known this, do you not think that he would have killed Moses then and there, as soon as he heard of a baby boy being found floating in the river?
This is how limited, misleading, and weak a human being’s intellectual as well as physical faculties are.
We just do not know what will be good for us, and what will be bad for us.
We tend to believe, with utmost and unflinching conviction (and this happens much more strongly when we are young), that something, or someone, or some concept, blessing, or idea that we fancy, will bring us nothing but happiness, fulfillment and success, if and when we acquire it.
It could be something as trivial as a new smartphone, to something more long-term such as marriage to someone with whom we have unwittingly fallen in love.
Shaitan makes us become obsessed with getting what we desire.
He bombards us with persistent thoughts about it, which can overshadow our other positive pursuits, including the quality of our worship.
We then resort to praying to Allah night and day for it, letting the overpowering sense of deprivation of not having that blessing, make us miserable, displeased with Allah, and exponentially weaker in our belief in Islam.
We begin to spiral downward on a self-destructive vortex of depression and anxiety, consumed with negative Satanic insinuations of displeasure with Allah’s decree.
The truth is, that we should instead perform the authentic method of istikharah prayer in order to ask Allah to guide us regarding what we want.
We should ask Him to give it to us only if He knows it to be good for us, and to avert it from us (yes, even though we want it so badly!) if He knows it to be bad for us.
We end the prayer by asking Him to compensate us with something better, and then make us pleased with what He has chosen for us.
This is the way you should have prayed to Allah regarding this thing that you so covet!
You should have done the prescribed method of istikharah and then left the matter in Allah’s hands, leaving your heart calm and serenely content with whatever He then decreed for you.
Don’t Give Satan a Chance
Instead, you allowed Shaitan to make you convinced, without full knowledge of the reality of things, that acquiring this thing is good for you; that it will bring you happiness.
Then Shaitan proceeded to make you miserable, simply because Allah did not let you have it.
You perceived this decree of Allah with negative thoughts. And furthermore, and this is perhaps the saddest part, Shaitan then made you start to question your faith in the Quran and sunnah itself, just because you were not getting what you were asking Allah for, day and night! Subhan Allah!
Sister, please change the way you perceive the mercy and guidance of your Lord.
You have to remind yourself that Allah’s knowledge and wisdom are infinite, whereas ours is very limited.
Whatever He decrees, whether it is painful for us or exhilarating, is for our own good, even if we cannot fathom just how, at first.
I would like to advise you to repent for your sins too, because it is possible that your sins could have prevented your dua’s from being answered as well.
I ask Allah to grant you relief from all worries, and utmost contentment and pleasure with Allah’s decree.
And Allah knows best.
I hope that this answers your question.
Salam. Please stay in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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