Should I Stop Praying Extra Prayers to Please Mom?

04 September, 2020
Q How can I deal with My mom that gets angry when I pray Sunnah prayers (tahajjud,sunnah ratibah,Duha,etc) Should I stop praying to make her happy or keep on praying to please Allah(s.w.t) ? (When I don’t pray it makes me feel not closer to Allah(s.w.t))

Answer

Short Answer:

  • You should first determine why your mother gets angry when you perform extra prayers. Is it because you didn’t do something she wanted you to do? E.g. if she asks you to do a chore, but you don’t do it because you forgot, or just got lazy. Then when she sees you performing nafl prayers, it might make her angry. 
  • Also, brother, please be informed of what scholars said regarding a parent’s call during supererogatory prayer.
  1. The first opinion is that the offspring should immediately stop the prayer and respond to a parent’s call.
  2. The second opinion is that the offspring should stop the prayer only if the parent is at sure risk of harm. That is, if the offspring does not respond to their call immediately, the parent will greatly suffer. Only then should the offspring break their nafl prayer to respond to their parent’s call.
  • So try to forgive her for getting angry, and help her out as much as you can. At the same time, seek knowledge of Islam, in order to acquire wisdom. This is because wisdom allows a young Muslim to strike an optimum balance in life. It enables them to give the dues of all aspects of existence: worship, work, self, and relationships.

………….

Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for the question.


It is heartening to note, brother, that you wish to attain the pleasure of Allah. It is also highly praiseworthy that you wish to do so without angering your mother. Indeed, pleasing parents and obeying them in permissible matters is a noble act of worship. It garners an offspring the pleasure of Allah.

Should I Stop Praying Extra Prayers to Please Mom?

Nevertheless, Muslim parents do not have the right to stop their offspring from performing supererogatory prayers. Only for a valid reason can they prevent them from it, sometimes. At your age, the foundation of your future life is being laid.

Hence, it is imperative that you understand how to strike a balance between different acts of worship. The ideal situation is to do both good deeds. That is, continue to perform extra prayers, and do what you can to please your parents.

Find out the reason behind her anger

You should first determine why your mother gets angry when you perform supererogatory prayers. Is it because you didn’t do something she wanted you to do? E.g. if she asks you to do a chore, but you don’t do it because you forgot, or just got lazy. Then when she sees you performing nafl prayers, it might make her angry. 

Once you can pinpoint the cause of her anger, you can work on removing it. Do this for the sake of pleasing Allah. Try to listen carefully whenever she gives you an instruction. Then do what she says, to the best of your ability. Furthermore, do not spend too much time performing extra prayers. Keep them short.

Pray in a manner that she remains unaware

The next thing you should endeavor to do, is to avoid this conflict. Try to go for a win-win situation here. That is, you get to pray in peace, and your mother is prevented from getting angry.

Hence, try to perform these nafl prayers when she is not around i.e. she cannot see you. You could find a quiet, secluded corner of the home for this purpose. If this does not work, just shorten your nafl prayers instead of giving them up altogether.

It is very true that extra prayers make us come closer to Allah. They also increase the level of our faith. Therefore, you should try your best not to give them up.

Responding to her call during extra prayers

Lastly, brother, please be informed of what scholars said regarding a parent’s call during supererogatory prayer.

  1. The first opinion is that the offspring should immediately stop the prayer and respond to a parent’s call.
  2. The second opinion is that the offspring should stop the prayer only if the parent is at sure risk of harm. That is, if the offspring does not respond to their call immediately, the parent will greatly suffer. Only then should the offspring break their nafl prayer to respond to their parent’s call.

If you follow the first opinion above, for Allah’s pleasure, it will earn you rewards. It might also appease your mother’s anger, paving the way for you to do more worship.

Please bear in mind that whatever foundation you lay today, will benefit you tomorrow. When it comes to parents, a teenager should remember that their wisdom still outweighs theirs. Parents of teenagers do a lot of work, day and night.

They have many responsibilities on their shoulders, which teenagers aren’t fully aware of. A lot of hard work done by your parents ensures that you remain protected and provided for. This, in turn, lets you have the chance and time to worship Allah in peace.

Most adults who are in their forties and fifties have a lot on their shoulders. As will you, when and if you reach that age. Then, insha’Allah, you will perhaps fully realize why your mother used to get angry.

So try to forgive her for getting angry, and help her out as much as you can. At the same time, seek knowledge of Islam, in order to acquire wisdom. This is because wisdom allows a young Muslim to strike an optimum balance in life. It enables them to give the dues of all aspects of existence: worship, work, self, and relationships.

And Allah knows best.

I hope that this answers your question.

Salam. Please stay in touch.

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