Answer
Salam (Peace) Dear Sister,
We’re very happy to receive your question. It’s truly heartwarming to sense your sincere desire for knowledge and your attempt to make things right.
We ask the Creator Allah Almighty to shower your heart with peace and rest, and to guide you to all that is genuinely good, pure and comforting in this life and the next. Ameen
We want to do our utmost best to help you. So, we need to check what is it exactly that you need help with: is it understanding the Quran? Or your relationship with the person you mentioned?
Let us try to tackle both briefly.
First and foremost, we need to come to a very important realization. We have the same Creator! We are worshiping the same God. We as Muslims direct our hearts, minds and limbs in prayer every day of our lives to the One and Only Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and everything therein. This is what Muslims do.
{And your god is one God. There is no deity [worthy of worship] except Him, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.} (Quran 2:163)
If one is truly devout to the One and Only Creator of mankind, then there should be no problem or contradiction. Sincerity in seeking the Truth is key, among the Creator’s name is The Ultimate Truth (Al Haqq), so when we are seeking the truth, we’re essentially seeking Him!
Islam is not a name of a new religion. Islam is a state of being. It means the humble submission to the Creator, the realization of His power and acknowledgment of man’s purpose in life and purpose of creation. That’s essentially the message.
We believe all Prophets; from Adam to Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (peace be upon them all)…. all of them were Muslims (i.e. submitting to The Creator), all of them carried the same message: worship the One God and do not ascribe partners unto Him.
In that sense, Islam acknowledges all the prophets and messengers sent by Allah (Arabic word for the One and Only Deity).
Islam is the summation and completion of all previous messages. In essence they all aimed to connect the created beings with their One and Only Deity and Creator.
{Allah – there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of existence.
He has sent down upon you, [O Muhammad], the Book in truth, confirming what was before it. And He revealed the Torah and the Gospel. Before, as guidance for the people. And He revealed the Quran.
Indeed, those who disbelieve in the verses of Allah will have a severe punishment, and Allah is exalted in Might, the Owner of Retribution.
Indeed, from Allah nothing is hidden in the earth nor in the heaven.
It is He who forms you in the wombs however He wills. There is no deity except Him, the Exalted in Might, the Wise.} (Quran 3: 2-6)
Now, all tenants of faith (being faithful and committed to the Creator, doing all that is good, avoiding all that is bad and harmful, living a righteous pure life, anticipating the Day of Judgment and the meeting with The Creator) all of that we have in common.
If you are a devout believer, then everything that you essentially do to come closer to your Creator will be the same in Islam. Muslims pray even the same way Jesus (peace be upon him) prayed, while putting his forehead on the ground in humble prostration and submission.
So, in a nut shell, the common ground is vast. If you are a sincere seeker of truth, you would embark on an immensely beautiful journey of exploring the message of Islam. It is not a message for Muslims, it is a message for mankind. Throughout the Quran, you will realize again and again that it is God’s Direct Word in which He is addressing all mankind.
{O mankind, there has come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the chests and guidance and mercy for the believers.} (Quran 10:57)
{O mankind, the Messenger has come to you with the truth from your Lord, so believe; it is better for you. But if you disbelieve – then indeed, to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and earth. And ever is Allah Knowing and Wise.} (Quran 4:170)
{O mankind! Remember Allah’s grace toward you! Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the sky and the earth? There is no deity [worthy of worship] except Him, how then are you turning away?} (Quran: 35:3)
There is absolutely nothing to hide in Islam. This message is for all people. We share it with love and sincerity because it belongs to others as much as it belongs to us.
{This [Quran] is a clear statement to [all] the people and a guidance and instruction for those conscious of Allah.} (Quran 3:138)
Now, all the repeated criticisms/questions are well known, have answers and have in fact been answered repeatedly. Anyone who is genuinely honest will be able to easily get past the propaganda and see the core of the message.
The core of this message, my sister, is immense love, passion and commitment to God, a desire for goodness and a state of inward peace with oneself, with God and with our purpose in life.
Now, we wholeheartedly believe that when you embark on your journey of understanding the Quran in depth from learned scholars, that you will find so much beauty and comfort and precious realizations.
We can share with you a few resources for now.
Here is a free online Quran website. Listen to the Quran. It is essentially a ‘Recitation’, so you need to listen to the recitation while understanding its meaning. Navigate though it with open heart and mind. Start with the Opening Chapter, called The Opener.
Listen to it, read it and ponder on the message as an honest intellectual human being. We trust with this beautiful sincere heart of yours, everything will be easy.
Below are a few lectures from notable contemporary Western scholars/speakers explaining different interesting dimensions of the Quran- as an additional resource to explore.
The Quran Explained to non-Muslims
Hamza Yusuf – Al Quran: The Living Miracle
Nouman Ali Khan – Quran Speaks: A Message for Humanity
In addition, we also recommend you reading “The Bible, The Quran and Science” “La Bible, Le Coran et La Science” The Holy Scriptures Examined In The Light Of Modern Knowledge” by Dr. Maurice Bucaille. It is a very thought-provoking read.
Now, with regards to the “Muslim male” you’ve mentioned, we do not understand exactly what kind of relationship you have. If you’re seeking marriage, then yes, Muslim men can marry Christian or Jewish women. Read previous answers here and here for example for more details on this subject.
We really do hope he is someone who is righteous, learned in his deen (religion/way of life) and sincere so as to provide you with all your rights within the lawful boundaries of marriage that grant women their honor, respect and dignity. You can listen to this short lecture on responsibilities of husbands and wives towards one another in Islam.
Finally, our sister, we’re immensely grateful that we have received your message and communicated with you. We hope we helped you in any way.
We wish you all the success, peace and happiness in this life and the next.
Please send us any questions you have and/or ask for any resources you need.
I hope this helps answer your question.
May the peace and blessings and mercy be upon you.