Answer
Short Answer:
- It is normal for teenagers to go through phases of emotional distress. They feel lonely, left out, and socially awkward. They are also consumed by tall hopes and dreams for their future.
- What is important is that you do not get so despondent, that you start to think bad thoughts about Allah. Instead, focus on getting to know your Creator.
- Find out the purpose of your life: why you were created?
- Study the Quran, it should help you discover the path that you should take in life, ahead.
- However, for the positive to come in, the negative must go out first. Thoughts such as “nobody cares about me“, and “nobody understands me” are negative thoughts. They are also not true.
- I am sure that your family does love you.
- Force yourself to think positive thoughts about Allah. And also about other human beings.
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Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
I ask Allah to grant you high ranks of faith, brother. You have done well to reach out to our team to ask us this question. This is because every Muslim should be concerned about these important issues, namely:
Does Allah love him or her? Is Allah pleased with him or her? And what deeds must they do to garner Allah’s love? Does Allah see results, or our sincerity and efforts? And does He compare us to others?
It will be very beneficial if you could be clear about these concepts at this young age.
Who does Allah love?
How to get Allah’s love, should be the primary concern of every Muslim. In order to find out how to please Allah, we should ponder upon the Quran. I advise you to start reading the Quran to seek answers.
The Quran is a very clear guide about those beliefs and actions that lead to Allah’s pleasure. When a Muslim does good deeds, Allah loves them. And when they persist in sins without repenting, Allah gets angry at them.
Allah is closest to His creation. In the Quran, He says:
“Now, verily, it is We who have created man, and We know what his innermost self whispers within him: for We are closer to him than his neck-vein.” [50:16]
Therefore, this is the answer to your question. Yes, Allah does care for you. He is closer to you, your thoughts, and your feelings, than everyone else.
So please turn to Allah and seek His help. Pray to Him to make you feel at peace and content with His decree.
Despair and negative thoughts are from Satan
You are still very young. At this age, your identity is still forming, as is your personality. It is normal for teenagers to go through phases of emotional distress. They feel lonely, left out, and socially awkward. They are also consumed by tall hopes and dreams for their future.
What is important is that you do not get so despondent, that you start to think bad thoughts about Allah. Instead, focus on getting to know your Creator. Find out the purpose of your life: why you were created? The advice I gave you above, to study the Quran, should achieve this. It should help you discover the path that you should take in life, ahead.
However, for the positive to come in, the negative must go out first. Thoughts such as “nobody cares about me“, and “nobody understands me” are negative thoughts. They are also not true. I am sure that your family does love you. But they have ways of showing it. So repel all untrue, negative thoughts, with positive ones. Then force yourself to think positive thoughts about Allah. And also about other human beings.
Capitalize on your solitude and free time
Perhaps in this phase of life, you feel lonely due to lack of company. So you have time to yourself. Why not use this time and youthful energy to start working on yourself? In some positive way?
You could try new hobbies. Anything that you have wanted to start doing. Perhaps start working out every day? Physical exercise, even when done by one’s lonesome, is a very good anti-depressant.
The truth is: man was created for work. Allah says in the Quran:
“Verily, We have created man into [a life of] pain, toil and trial.” [90:4]
So be strong! Try to take up a one-man physical sport, which dispels your energy. Such as skateboarding, swimming, or rollerblading. Besides the study of the Quran, partaking in healthy, outdoor physical activity will invigorate you. You could also try projects involving robotics or craftsmanship. Building something, no matter how small, always gives one a sense of achievement.
Time will bring positive change, Allah willing
Adults should avoid making detrimental comparisons between youngsters. Unfortunately, in schools, students are often compared to each other via the grading system. This can have a bad impact on some students’ self-esteem. The students who get good grades receive honor, praise, and prizes. But those who cannot achieve good grades, are made to feel worthless.
I want you to know, my young brother, that, in Allah’s eyes, you are not worthless. You are unique and special. Allah created you a one-of-a-kind, so there is no one else like you.
He has certainly blessed you with talents that can let you shine. These talents are just latent right now i.e. as yet undiscovered. Why not work hard upon yourself, to discover your hidden strengths and skills? Let the naysayers say what they want! You just focus on connecting to Allah and striving hard for personal success.
Believe me, Allah sees and appreciates every small iota of good that you do:
“..and whatever work you [all, O men,] may do -[remember that] We are your witness..” [Quran 10:61]
And Allah knows best.
I hope that this answers your question.
Salam. Please stay in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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