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Menses and Overcoming Depression

17 December, 2020
Q I am a new Muslimah. I am going through a difficult time because of my menstrual cycle. I am suffering from depression, as I can't pray and fast. How can I overcome depression and get closer to God?

Answer

Short Answer: 

  • To be able to combat your feelings of depression, remind yourself that you’re not being prevented from connecting with God, nor are you being banished from His mercy because something is wrong with you.
  • Much to the contrary, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, God is giving you a lighter load in consideration of your hardship. What you’re exempted from is the ritual prayer with all its movements that may be uncomfortable for you during this time and the five-times-a-day schedule, which may be hard to keep up with when you’re not feeling well. And you’re exempted from fasting because your body is more in need of nutrition and hydration while you menstruate.

………….

Asalamu Alaikum Eve,

Welcome to Islam! And thank you for your question. It shows how keen you are to maintain a connection with God every day in order to keep your emotional and psychological balance.

I completely understand how you must feel cut off from your lifeline of daily support because of a natural physical condition you did not create. I totally sympathize with your feelings of depression during that time.

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This is a common complaint of many Muslim women at the time of their periods when they can’t pray or fast.

However, worship in Islam is more than just prayer. Although prayer and fasting are major rituals in Islam; thankfully, they’re not the only deeds that qualify as “worship” in order to maintain our connection with God.

Any good deed done with the intention of serving God and making a positive difference for yourself and others is considered worship; being kind to animals, watering plants, helping the needy, or simply spreading goodwill are all considered charitable deeds in Islam, and therefore, worship.

You’re not prevented from worship; you’re given a short vacation

To be able to combat your feelings of depression, remind yourself that you’re not being prevented from connecting with God, nor are you being banished from His mercy because something is wrong with you.

Much to the contrary, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, God is giving you a lighter load in consideration of your hardship.

What you’re exempted from is the ritual prayer with all its movements that may be uncomfortable for you during this time and the five-times-a-day schedule, which may be hard to keep up with when you’re not feeling well. And you’re exempted from fasting because your body is more in need of nutrition and hydration while you menstruate.

You don’t even have to make up for the prayers you can’t pray during your monthly period.

That doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed or not required to reach out to God during that time of the month. To the contrary, you’re encouraged to seek support and solace regardless of your condition. God’s door is always open whenever you choose to knock on it.

8 ways to connect with God during your period

Here are a few examples of how you can connect with God during your period:

1- Listen to a recitation of the Quran. Revise what you have memorized or read commentaries. Learn the meanings of verses or teach what you know to others. The Quran itself states that it is a healing for people’s hearts.

2- The same applies to learning and teaching about the Prophet (peace be upon him-PBUH) through studying his life and traditions and trying to apply some of his teachings to your everyday life.

3- Attend useful lectures or watch them online, and contribute to useful forums or classes to gain and share knowledge.

4- Make dhikr (mentioning and remembering God) by reciting His names or reflecting on His magnificent creation.

5- Supplicate (make dua) which is literally calling on God, telling Him how you feel, and asking Him for what you need. This is always allowed and recommended.

6- Give in charity to anyone or anything that may need your help.

7- Read about Islam and Islamic topics, as well as any other topics that would benefit you in leading a prosperous life.

8- Be a good Muslim and an example for others in manners and character. This is an overlooked act of worship with a precious value that is available to every Muslim at all times.

Remember that God in His infinite Wisdom and Mercy rewards women for abiding by His rules. So, if you pray when you’re required and refrain from prayer when you’re required, this in itself is worship because you are obeying God’s rules in both cases.

Furthermore, you will be rewarded simply because you’re patient, accepting the condition which God has decreed for you. So, you’re actually being rewarded for not praying and fasting.

I hope this helps you feel a bit better. Please stay in touch, and may Allah Almighty accept your worship and reward you generously.

Walaikum Asalam.

(From Ask About Islam archives)

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Is Menstruation a Punishment from Allah to Women?

Why Are Women Not Allowed to Pray During Menses?

What Can You Do While Menstruating in Ramadan? (Watch)

Menstruation: When to Stop and Resume Prayer

Our Girls’ Needs: Holistic Muslimah Health Guide