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Finding Love or Finding God or Both? Part 2

16 June, 2017
Q Hello, and thank you for your time. I'm currently dating a Muslim girl from Indonesia, whom in the beginning was open about her religion but said it "wasn't too important to her". Now that we're beginning to get serious, however, the thought of co-habitation and possible marriage arises. The problem is that her "version" of Islam (no disrespect; I hope you understand what I mean) requires me to convert for marriage, and otherwise we don't have a future. While I find a lot of aspects of Islam attractive, I just cannot convert in good conscience because I do not believe in a divine entity or divine messengers (I'm agnostic by choice). My conversion would, thus, be disrespectful to the faith and a lie to my partner. I understand that some forms of Islam are very strict about needing the partner to be Muslim, and some aren't, but... well, I just don't know. I love her, I'd like to have a future with her and she's completely free to practice her religion in our household and I'll support that as much as I can, it's important to her and I will never force her to betray that part of her, but conversion is just not an option for me. We both struggle with this fact considering our feelings have developed greatly and we're almost ready for that next step. How can we overcome these difficulties? Once again, thank you for your time. I'm happy an information resource like this exists, it's just too bad not more non-Muslims take the time to actually research what Islam is and means for the many believers around the world.


Part 1

Salam (Peace) Brother,

As I said in part one, you will say, as an agnostic, you do not believe that God exists.


How do we know that YOU exist?

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Really. We have not seen or heard you ever before.

But you know, the thought of you not existing didn’t even occur to us. Even though we didn’t see you, but we did see the traces and signs of your existence. You sent us a message.

This message for us was satisfactory to accept the fact that you do exist, and to respond to you. It would have been a matter of disrespect to disregard you, or claim that you’re not there and act as if we received nothing from you.

Now, similarly, how do we know that God exists?

Well, He also sent us His Message. He sent the Qur’an which is a message to mankind. Throughout the Qur’an, Allah (Arabic word for The One, True God) describes that this message is for mankind. Throughout the Qur’an, you’ll find Him addressing mankind:

{O mankind, there has come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the chests and guidance and mercy for the believers.} (Qur’an 10:57)


{O mankind, the Messenger has come to you with the truth from your Lord, so believe; it is better for you. But if you disbelieve – then indeed, to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and earth. And ever is Allah Knowing and Wise.} (Qur’an 4:170)

And also

{O mankind! Remember Allah’s grace toward you! Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you from the sky and the earth? There is no deity [worthy of worship] except Him, how then are you turning away?}  (Qur’an: 35:3)

Now, you may say that you don’t believe in the “Divine Message and Divine Messengers”. That’s fine. But slightly contradictory because you’ve suggested that you’re open minded. But then you went on to completely close the door saying that considering something is “just not an option”.

What if there is something new and beautiful for you to learn?

Again, you may say, “how do I know Qur’an is the truth?” Well then, study it thoroughly. Read the Qur’an with an open heart and mind and do all the necessary research you need.

{Read in the name of your Lord who created -Created man from a clinging substance. Read and your Lord is the most Generous – Who taught by the pen -Taught man that which he knew not.}  (Qur’an 96: 1-2)

Ask yourself questions like what’s the purpose of life? Are we here to eat, drink, work, mate, raise children, then die … that’s it? This cycle leads to nothingness. 

{Were they created by nothing, or were they the creators [of themselves]? Or did they create the heavens and the earth? Nay, they have no certainty of anything} (Qur’an 52: 35-36)


{Does man think that he will be left neglected? Had he not been a sperm from semen emitted? Then he was a clinging clot, and [Allah] created [his form] and proportioned [him]. And made of him two sexes, the male and the female. Is not that [Creator] Able to give life to the dead?} (Qur’an 75: 36-40)

You might also say that you don’t want to believe in God, and that it is enough for you to be a good person, and to love that lady and be good to other people.


You know, let’s imagine that you own a company, for example.

You hired some employees. There is one employee who is very good to everyone in the company. Really good. He smiles at everyone and treats everyone nicely. He loves and treats everyone well. But he just completely disregards you.

He doesn’t acknowledge you, he doesn’t respond to your calls. You already provide him with salary to live and have a job for him. But he doesn’t do his job.

Now, what do you think of this employee? As the owner of the company, is it befitting that he does this to you? If someone comes and tells you, “well, leave him alone, he’s a good person. Yes, he doesn’t do his job. Yes, he still gets paid. But so what! Be open minded”.

What do you think of this?

Well … Allah also is the Owner. He is the Owner of The Heavens and The Earth and everything therein. He brought us here for a purpose. He gave us life, hearing, sight, intellect, and a heart. He asked us to use that to learn about Him and connect with Him. But we just sometimes … reject.

{Allah has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing and He made for you hearing and vision and intellect that perhaps you would be grateful.} (Qur’an 16:78)


{O Man, what has deceived you concerning your Lord, the Generous, Who created you, proportioned you, and balanced you? In whatever form He willed has He assembled you.} (Qur’an 82:6-8)

I understand your lack of desire or consideration of conversion. No problem. May peace be upon you.

But one can’t help but wonder: What do you think we will get out of this? The only reason someone will sincerely ask you to consider this is for you to know the Truth, live a pure life, earn an eternal Paradise near the Creator Who is More Beautiful, Powerful, Merciful, Wise than anything you ever seen or admired in this world.

Where is the harm in that, really, brother?

The worst thing we could do is to let our ego or rejection stand in the way of accepting Truth when we recognize it. Truth is truth even if it came from the least expected sources. Right?

It is not like there is no “proof”. There is. But maybe we haven’t spent enough time to read, listen, research and investigate.

Please continue reading part 3.

This response is from About Islam’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Manifestation of God Through Science All Around Us

Manifestation of God Through Science All Around Us

Why Should I Have a Need for God?