Answer
Salam Dear Sister,
Thank you so much for this question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
Don’t worry. Allah heard you. He definitely did, and He is answering you in His most beautiful and most wise ways.
Let us first remember this important hadith before we discuss the answer further.
Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:
“The supplication of every one of you is granted if he does not grow impatient and says: I supplicated but it was not granted.” [Sahih Muslim]
The fact that we don’t get immediate gratification sometimes, or that we don’t get immediate answers doesn’t mean that there will be no answer at all or that we’re not heard or that we’re neglected.
I’m reminded here with the very interesting and popular psychological experiment known as “The Marshmallow Experiment.”
The results of this experiment are quite eye-opening, and even relevant to our discussion here.
Basically, the researchers had a sample of children aged between 4-5 years old. The researchers brought each child into a private room and placed a marshmallow in front of them.
The researcher then told the children that he is going to leave the room and come back. If the children didn’t eat the marshmallow until he comes back, they will get another marshmallow, and so have double what they have.
So the equation was: immediate gratification equals one marshmallow. Patience equals double the reward.
Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately. Some were patient for a little while then gave in to temptations, and a few were patient, restrained themselves and were granted double the reward.
This latter group that managed to delay gratification actually proved to be the most successful in life on the long run. The researchers followed the sample of children over a period of 40 years, measuring their success at different fields of life.
It was reported that the group that managed to have patience, self-restraint and delay gratification actually were more successful in health, work and overall in life.
This- more or less- is what Allah Almighty is telling us.
Have patience, restrain yourself and you will get double the reward! You will end up being successful in this life and the next.
The experiment showed to a large extent that immediate gratification wasn’t the real success. Real success was through patience.
That’s why Allah Almighty, The Supreme Teacher tells us:
“O you who have believed, be patient and endure and remain stationed and fear Allah that you may be successful.” (Quran 3: 200)
“Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.”(Quran 39:10)
Responding to your supplication is easy for Allah, sister. But there are greater lessons to be taught. Allah is teaching us patience and self-discipline that are the foundations of real success in this life and the next.
Don’t lose faith in Allah. Continue to supplicate with certainty and hope.
A very important point to consider here also is to make sure there is no shortcoming on your end that may be delaying the answer. Meaning: make sure there is no sin that is preventing the answering of your dua, make sure you make sincere repentance of anything that is harmful, make sure you’re not consuming interest money or income that isn’t halal.
Seek purification of your life in all matters. This is an important factor that helps in answering the dua. And actually, this is all in your benefit! Allah is making you consider resolving all those issues that might be harmful to you in this life and the next.
This is rahma (mercy) and wisdom from Him and a deeper way of answering the dua, because all dua essentially is about getting the khair in this life and the next, and Allah is teaching you and encouraging you to purify your life and pursuits in order to have the best of this life and the next.
So, trust Allah, have good expectations of Him, occupy your time with what is beneficial for you… and don’t worry about answering the dua.
Allah’s Kingdom is vast and He can easily give you what you want immediately, but there are much deeper lessons about true faith, patience and discipline that we need to learn in order to receive what is better and more eternal insha’Allah.
I hope this helps answer your question.
Salam and please keep in touch.