Salam Dear Nazia,
Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Indeed, your loss must be devastating and it is understandable how and why you might have the feelings that you do.
Ironically perhaps, Allah indeed does love those whom He tests, and most certainly what you are going through is a very difficult test.
The Prophets of Allah went through more difficult tests than anyone.
The Prophet (peace be upon him), for instance, saw the death of his uncle, his wife, several of his children and countless of his close companions during his lifetime, some all within the same year. He mourned their loss, felt sadness and grief, and asked Allah for ease during difficult times.
Yet he accepted their deaths — as with everything else in life — as from Allah, with its own wisdom and purpose.
Every time Allah took something from him, He gave the Prophet (peace be upon him) something of great importance in return.
For instance, after the loss of his beloved wife Khadijah and his uncle Abu Talib in the same year, Allah blessed the Prophet with the Isra and Miraj–the night journey to Jerusalem, then to the Heavens–to set his heart at ease about the importance of his mission and the truth behind it.
It is well-known that those whom Allah loves the most He grants the most difficult tests, which is why the prophets had to endure what they did. Allah says in the Quran what means:
Similarly We blessed Job (Ayyub), when he prayed to his Lord saying, “Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.” We accepted his prayer and relieved his affliction, and restored not only his family but also as many more with them as a favor from Us so that it may serve as a reminder to Our worshipers. (Quran 21:83-84)
Also, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah (something) good or his sins are obliterated.” (Sahih Muslim)
Death is a natural part of life
I know there are usually few words that can be spoken to ease the pain of losing a loved one. Thus, I know I cannot say much that will make you feel better.
We just have to realize that death is a part of life and that as believers, there is a much greater life to come after this one, where, inshaAllah, we will be with our loved ones in Paradise for all eternity by Allah’s mercy.
For those that are able to accept the will of Allah with patience, acceptance, and perseverance, the reward is great, greater than anything that can be imagined. Allah says what is translated as:
[…] Those who endure with patience will be rewarded without measure. (Quran 39:10)
And in another verse:
Do the people think that they will be left alone on saying “We believe,” and that they will not be tested? We did test those who have gone before them. Allah has to see who are the truthful and who are the liars. (Quran 29:1-3)
Allah’s wisdom exceeds ours
That is Allah’s promise to us. Furthermore, only Allah knows the reality behind life events, both the perceived good and bad. Although we feel that our loss is a terrible thing, there is always wisdom behind whatever Allah wills and Allah never tests people beyond what they can handle:
Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease. (Quran 65:7)
Acceptance and surrender in difficult times are what separates the believers from those who do not believe. I know you are suffering sister, but inshaAllah with time and much prayer, you will overcome this loss and challenge.
Ask Allah to make your trials easy for you, and to grant you the good in it. Always remember that He always knows what is best for us, even though it may be difficult to understand and grasp at that particular moment. Also, after difficulties Allah promises ease, so do not despair…
Surely with every difficulty there is relief. Surely with every difficulty there is relief. (Quran 94:5-6)
I wish you all the best and pray for you and your children. Remember this last bit of advice from Allah in the Quran whenever we must deal with trials and hardship:
We shall surely test your steadfastness with fear and famine, with loss of property, life and produce. Give good news to those who endure with patience; who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.”
Such are the people on whom there are blessings and Mercy from Allah; and they are the ones that are rightly guided. (Quran 2:155-157)
I hope this helps ease your hardship. May Allah grant you patience and the highest level of Paradise inshaAllah.
Salam and please keep in touch.
This piece is from AboutIslam’s archives and was originally published earlier
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