Psychology says a person goes through 3 stages when he is separated from someone he is attached to.
In the 1st stage of protest, one tries to construct contact again.
The 2nd stage is despair, going through feelings of helplessness.
The third stage is withdrawal, becoming cool with it.
When you look around every day, you see the sun rising, the sky changing, the atmosphere, the smell of the air, everything is changing every minute.
If everything around us is changing, how is it even possible that we can escape the change happening within us?
Look at yourself for a moment and think: are you the same person inside and out than a year ago?
Your body, features, colour, surroundings everything is evolving and changing.
Don’t you think people around you will also change one day?
Those who love you, will not love you anymore.
Those who used to make you laugh will make you cry one day.
Do you expect that? If not, then it is your mistake that needs to be corrected.
Separation happens in two forms. Either people die or left you while being alive. It could be your partner, friend or anybody else.
Believe it! Everything you have been given now, a time will come when it will work in the opposite direction or be taken away.
Losing people while being alive or dead, both are painful but it gives us a lesson that everything will perish. Even your relations with the closest ones also. At that point, you will be left alone.
When someone leave you or you leave them, the debate is not on right or wrong. What matters is when you will turn around after taking the first step, they will be gone. It would be so quick that you would wonder, “Am I this worthless to stay with”?
But with Allah no matter how many mistakes you make, every time you will turn around, you will find Him exactly at the same place where you left.
People will rush to leave you, but Allah will always wait for your comeback. No one will fulfil your expectations but Allah will never disappoint you.
The relationship between Allah and his slaves is the only relationship where if the distance comes, it is only because of our fault. We left him but he never left the place until we come back. He will never distance from you as people do after breaking up.
So, you run away from Him. Now you should be the one who should rush back to Him because only He is the one who will never disregard your feelings and expectations, and He will forget your mistakes like they have never existed.
Your expectations are not wrong, but the place you are expecting it to be taken care of is wrong, and that’s the mistake.
We expect from people what they can’t be, and we get disappointed and heartbroken. You were expecting fruit from the tree that does not possess its nature. Perhaps, you are expecting a banana from a tree meant to produce apples.
People don’t have the patience to forgive their mistakes, Allah has. People can’t be always with you and love you forever. They are meant to change. Look at them. They are not capable of stopping their bodies from getting old, wrinkled-free skin, health deterioration.
You think after having such a weak control for their outer self, they will have control over their inner self. If their outside is changing; how come change won’t happen inside?
Your happiness gives you the bests moments of your life, but your pain will give you a lesson for your whole life. It is meant to teach you something. Listen to your pain, it’s telling you something. Once you understand your assignment, it will leave you.
Don’t despair if people change, and don’t believe when they promise to love and live with you forever. In the universe the only one that has ever been unchanged forever and will remain unchanged forever is Allah.
So, rely only on Him and expect only from Him. Prepare yourselves to lose from tangible to non-tangible blessings as they are nothing but a test from your Lord and meant to perish.
What prevails always is only Allah.
Put your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). (Al – Imran : 159)
