In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

 

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad.

 

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and he thus spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her till the morning.” (Abu Dawoud)

 

Usually it is the husband who takes initiative in the sexual relationship and even if a wife does not have the same desire, she still can let him satisfy his desire.

 

Still if a man refrains from satisfying his wife’s desire without excuse, he becomes sinful as well.

 

Allah has commanded men to associate with their wives kindly saying what means, “So consort with them [only] in accordance with what is right [and honorable].”  (An-Nisaa’ 4:19)

 

He also said what means, “Yet for women, there are [rights] equal to what is enjoined upon them, in accordance with what is right.” (Al-Baqarah 2:228)

 

The prohibition of abstaining from satisfying the wife’s desire could also be inferred from the Quranic verse that reads, “So as to those who forswear [relations with] their wives, [causing them to suffer abuse,] there shall be a waiting period of [cessation of intimacy for] four months. But if they go back [to their wives during this period], then, indeed, Allah is all-forgiving, mercy-giving.” (Al-baqarah 2:226)

 

“Allah is all-forgiving” denotes that a sin has been committed. Of course, satisfying the sexual desire in a legitimate way is one of the main objectives of marriage and a husband will be held responsible in the Hereafter for this attitude as he thus commits a sin by endangering the chastity of his wife.

 

When one commits a sin, Allah becomes angry with him/her. Still, as for the warning in the hadith mentioned above, we cannot extend it to men since it is addressed to women specifically.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.