Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Your challenges in marriage are most probably due to lack of communication which in turn is because of mistrust between you and your wife.

For some reason, both of you have no trust in each other. You cannot merely place all the blame on your wife.

As a husband, you have greater responsibility to take the initiative to see why she has reservations about leaving the job and moving the jewelry to your house.

Perhaps you have failed to earn her confidence and trust in you; therefore, she thinks she ought to have a backup plan – in case the marriage breaks up.

Therefore, my advice to you would be to see how you can build her trust in you.

Islamic notion of man’s leadership in the family should be exercised properly within the ethical guidelines established by the Qur’an and the ideal practice of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

You may do well to remember that Allah orders His messenger to make decisions on consultation; furthermore, as Ibn `Abbas said that man’s leadership in the family means that he should be more forgiving and take greater responsibility in keeping good relations with his wife.

I am sure once you have taken the initiative to build the trust she will be willing to leave her job and keep the jewelry in your home.

If I were in your shoes, I would not insist that she keeps the jewelry in your home; since it was given to her in the first place, she has the right to keep it wherever she prefers. That should not be a reason for you to break up the marriage.

You may do well to read the following book which should help you with tips to maintain a blissful marriage: Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir.

As for keeping her away from her family, you have no right to do so. After all, our duty towards our parents comes next to our obligation to worship Allah as reiterated throughout in the Holy Qur’an.

If you do so, you will end up doing the worst of sins: severing the ties of kinship which is an unforgivable sin in Islam.

As for the question who keeps the jewelry and marriage gifts in case of divorce, you have no right to take any of them if you are the one initiating the divorce. Allah says, “But if you desire to give up a wife and to take another in her stead, do not take away anything of what you have given the first one, however much it may have been. [21] Would you, perchance, take it away by slandering her and thus committing a manifest sin?” (An-Nisaa’ 4: 20)

If, however, she is the one asking for the divorce, then you may insist she gives you back the mahr as well as the marriage gifts you or your family have given her. You have no right to take any of the gifts her family has given.

Last but not least, if they have given you anything, you also ought to give them back to them – in case you are divorcing her.

Before concluding, let me advise you to seek marriage counseling from a professional who is knowledgeable in the Islamic marital ethics.

I pray to Allah to inspire both of you to settle your differences amicably and establish peace.

Almighty Allah knows best.