Assalamu alaikum wa  Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,

I believe that what I am reading here is abuse, both physical and psychological. It sounds like the sex was nonconsenting on your part also, therefore also constituting sexual abuse. This man too advantages of your vulnerabilities and abused you and you are now left dealing with the consequences.

Report the abuse

Based on your reports, this could be classed as rape and harassment and it is therefore recommended that you report this to the police. They will be able to support you by protecting you from this man and pressing charges if necessary. It will also help to keep him away from bothering you further. You do not have to meet with this man again as he desires. If you report his crimes, then this should prevent him from pressing you further to meet up.

Learn from your mistakes

We all make mistakes, but the most important thing is not the fact that a mistake was made, but how we deal with it. You were unfortunately lured into committing zina and from the methods in which this man tempted you, you can learn to never respond to messages from non-mahram males in case something like this happens. Instead, you can either chose to completely ignore such messages from the very start so as not to even get involved in any way or ask a mahram to intervene or be present with you during all such interactions until a relationship is made halal between you (I .e. through marriage).

Seek marriage elsewhere

After this ordeal, it might be a while before you even desire to get married. If this is the case then don’t be afraid to take some time out to yourself to get over the abuse that you have been through and get yourself psychologically fit to face marriage.

When you are ready to settle down and get married to someone it is your choice whether you disclose these facts to any potential suitor or not. It is a big deal, and maybe you won’t feel comfortable to talk about it, but do also contemplate whether hiding it from him will impact your ability to develop a full and meaningful relationship with him, especially as the events were a results of poor treatment from another man which may hinder your ability to trust again. However, there are men that may judge you from what happened and therefore disclose these events may prevent some men from even wanting to marry you in the first place. On the other hand, however, this will help you immediately to determine who is judging you based on that experience and who desires to marry you for who you are. There are men that will understand your situation, forgive you and even support you in overcoming any ongoing difficulties. However, there are also many who want ad you would need to be patient in finding someone like this.

May Allah grant you healing and a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.