Salam,

Ramadan Mubarak, sister Jane. I pray that God will make your journey forward easier than it has been to this point and that you do not lose hope in God’s mercy as a result of the words or actions of your brothers and sisters in Islam. But be aware that God always puts the believer to test, often more difficult tests than anyone else.

Having said that, when it comes to our prayers, fasting, zakah, hajj and other forms of worship in Islam, none of us knows for certain what God has accepted from us and what He has rejected. It is easy for us to judge each other and say God does not accept this or that, but none of us has a hotline with Him and knows what He accepts and what He rejects. The most important thing every Muslim should remember is that we have an intention to improve ourselves, improve our level and depth of devotions to God, and to hold fast to the hope that He will guide us and forgive our shortcomings.

There is no doubt that wearing hijab in Islam is an obligation for women who have reached puberty. There is no doubt that fasting must be performed according to the commands of God as found in the Qur’an and as passed onto us by Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Praying without proper dress for men and ladies is not acceptable, but when we are not standing in prayer, we are still in God’s sight and knowledge. It is common for some ladies to cover up for prayer, then remove the “prayer clothing” and return to regular practice. This does not show a true desire to improve ourselves as Muslims.

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said:

Whoever says, ‘There is no god but God’ will enter Paradise.

So while everyone who truly believes that God is One and Muhammad is His Messenger is a Muslim, not all Muslims are the same. Some will enter Paradise without suffering any punishment at all in Hellfire. Some Muslims, however, will enter Hell; some for a short time, and some for a long time, but eventually, all will be removed after being purified by God, then admitted to Paradise.

Having said that, if we are unable to bear a small burn to our finger tip, for example, and it keeps us awake all night, how will we bear being immersed in a much more ferocious fire with no end in sight? I pray that we are all saved from any such punishment for our sins in this life. Ameen.

I completely understand your reasons for being reluctant to commit to dressing according to what Islam teaches, but I’m sorry to say that I see your reluctance to wear the hijab for fear of what others will say or think of you as a sign of weak faith. We should worry what God thinks of us and follow His commands, then put our trust in Him to open doors for us to all that we desire of goodness in this life and in the next.

{[…] And for those who fear God, He (ever) prepares a way out. And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in God, sufficient is (God) for him. For God will surely accomplish His purpose: Truly, for all things has God appointed a due proportion.} (Qur’an Chapter 65: verse 2-3)

If you are trying to attract a husband with external good looks, you may attract a husband whose main concern is external good looks, and may even have a wandering eye that he will regularly cast upon other good looking women. Then when your good looks fade, as they inevitably will, what will you have left? But if a man is drawn to look beyond the physical appearance, if he sees beauty as something that should be protected from the glances of others, then a much more meaningful relationship based on inner beauty and respect results, and this is one that is not affected by the material distractions of this worldly life.

Deeds are judged by the intentions behind them. Ultimately, fasting is better than not fasting. It may be that because you are a revert to Islam, God will accept it despite the fact that you are not wearing hijab. I am confident, sad to say, that there are many women whose fasts are not accepted despite the fact that they are wearing hijab. It is for Him to decide and nobody has the right to discourage you from following God’s commands.

I hope that this has been helpful to you. Never give up on the mercy of God. He is always ready to welcome those who seek His Forgiveness and Guidance. If you walk towards Him, He will run towards you, inshaAllah.

Please keep in touch. Salam.