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My Family Isn’t Religious: How Should I Pray, Learn Quran?

21 May, 2017
Q As salaamu Alakum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. I have alhamdullilah been blessed with being born into a Muslim family, but my parents aren't very religious. Therefore, I lack fundamental knowledge. I am trying to better myself & strengthen my deen, slowly (I am the only hijabi in a family of 4 women). My question is I don't know how to pray. No one in my family prays the 5 mandatory prayers, but I want to begin. My dad is a Sunni and my mom is Shia. Which manner should I pray in? Following my dad or my mom? I went to a Sunday school based on the Shia school of thought, so I'd choose to pray like that, but would that be haram because fathers' usually guide the religion of their children? I'd also, very quickly like to ask about the Quran. I know how to read, alhamdullilah. but I want to memorize it. I don't know how to memorize it because I am very bad at memorization. Are there any tricks or anything I should be doing? My closest mosque is 30/20 minutes away & I know pronunciation is very, very important. Also I'm not a very good reader so it wouldn't be the most ideal. But I was just wondering if there was anything you could personally recommend to me?

Answer

Salam Sister,

Thank you for your questions and for contacting Ask About Islam.

First of all, I pray to Allah Almighty to bless you and reward you for your sincere efforts to lead the life of a good Muslimah, following the commandments of Allah Almighty and the Sunnah of His Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

It is a pity that you have not yet learned to properly pray (salah) the five daily prayers.  You ask whose example you should follow about prayer, whether you should follow your sunni father or your shia mother.

As you are only fourteen, it would be too much to ask you to make a decision on your own about this matter. Your question implies that we should help you in this choice.

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Islam, as taught in its complete form, began with the Prophet in Makkah. And every year Muslims around the world are required to undertake a pilgrimage to Makkah if they are able to do so.

One of the significant features of this pilgrimage, as far as the pilgrims are concerned, is honoring Makkah as the source and center of Islam with a view to pledging their allegiance to the original and pure form of Islam taught by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in Makkah and later in Madinah.

By participating in the rites of the Hajj as well as in the performance of salah, there, the Muslims of the world are united – or are reunited (if there was any kind of deviation in their native form of Islam) – in their submission to Allah the One and Only Creator and Sustainer, and in their adherence to the Sunnah of the Last Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as sincerely and faithfully as they can.

Thus the Holy Land of Makkah has always been the center of consolidation of the faith and practice of world Muslims and their unification as one Ummah (nation).

The foregoing indicates that the center of Islam, regarding forms of worship, continues to be Makkah and this is a fact that favors the sunni style of salah.

In your case it is your father and not your mother who follows the sunni practice; so our suggestion is that you should follow your father in this matter; not because of his status as the father, but it is because it is he who shows the form of salah closer to the original.

You can learn the performance of salah from this site.

As for learning the Quran, you may follow the methods taught in these sites:

7 Tips for Memorizing the Quran

How To Learn & Memorize The Quran

In order to learn Quranic Arabic, you can seek the help of someone competent in that subject in your neighborhood if available. You may also go to websites that teach Quranic recitation.

There is one site that teaches Quranic Arabic for beginners (especially the grammar of it) by Dr Abdirasak Abdi which many find interesting: here is the first lesson.  This is just an example.

Hope you will continue your efforts to learn and practice Islam as best as you can, insha Allah (God willing).

May Allah the All Merciful help you and guide you.

Please keep in touch. Salam.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

The Life-Changing Power of Prayer

Learning Resources for New Muslims

Memorize or Understand the Quran?