Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum,
Of all halal matters, divorce is the one most disliked by Allah (swt). Your wife is a Muslim regardless of her reasons for converting. If she says she converted for Allah (swt), then you must take that on face value and remind her of that.
Your first duty is to your immediate family — your wife. If she is not in the same place as you right now spiritually, then you must be patient with her and encourage her — rather than threaten her — to practice Islam. Just because she does not want to practice at this point does not mean that she does not see the benefit in it; it is not speaking to her heart. Threatening her is not going to help. You must provide a model for her with your patience and gentleness, and you must care for her well-being.
Make Islam so attractive to her that she cannot refuse and will realize that her heart is between the hands of the All-Merciful. The heart will respond to the beauty of Islam, but you must make it beautiful for her and put your trust in Allah (swt). Remember, you did not marry under the most ideal of circumstances. Nevertheless, it is your duty now to make the most of the situation and work through it. Don’t bail out on your wife just because you think she is not “as good” a Muslim as yourself. She may have other strong virtues that you are not even aware of.
I think it is important that although you must respect your parents’ opinions, you must help them understand the situation and that you cannot simply leave your wife because they are not happy with her and they fear for any future children. This is an opportunity for you to explain to them that this is your responsibility and trust, and that you wish to see the matter through. We can’t simply bail out of situations just because we don’t like them. Allah (swt) manifests everything in our lives for a reason and its purpose is for our own growth and spiritual maturation.
If you really think you’re such a good Muslim now, then prove it! Show your Islam through patience, perseverance, love, kindness, and struggle. Perhaps you should see this as YOUR test rather than your wife’s. Maybe your parents need to understand that even though you married this woman for less than ideal reasons, you made your bed, and now you need to lie on it. Follow through; view this challenge not as a test for your wife, but as a test for YOU from Allah (swt). See it as an opportunity to grow closer to Allah (swt) for everything in life is ultimately about our relationship to Allah (swt).
I urge you to be patient with your wife, to exemplify Islam in a way that will make it attractive for her to embrace it so that she will see the benefit in it for herself. She must see the essence of Islam in your character, in the way you do everything. Islam is not just salah (prayers) and going to the mosque. It should define your entire being and how you do everything.
Your wife needs to see that. If she says she converted to Islam for Allah (swt) and is serious about being a Muslim, then you must be patient with her and gently encourage her. To do this, she must see how it has benefited you. This is an opportunity for you to take stock of yourself first, to figure out what a life in Islam has meant to you, and then share that with her through your words and deeds. Threats and fear will not transform the heart.
Salam,
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