Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu `Alaikum dear sister,
The very fact that you have chosen to wear hijab and stop committing these acts is a clear sign of your good conscience and a determination to do what is right. This shows strength as you have not succumbed to the easiest of desires—fornication and sex. Al-hamdu lillah, you have, with wisdom, been able to direct your actions to the straight path.
Remember, Allah (swt) has created us as weak beings who often do wrong, but He (swt) has also equipped us with the tools to persevere until we do right because, instinctively, our fitrah, or human nature, wants to do good.
On the question of zina (illegitimate sexual intercourse), you have not committed the major sin of physical fornication with genitalia touching. What I understand from your message is that you have crossed the boundary by mental stimulation of sexual fantasies with masturbation. This is still haram (prohibited by Allah) because the process involves sexual thoughts that involve a non-mahram.
There is no reason in Islam why you cannot legally get married while you are both at university and then decide to consummate your marriage traditionally and move out. If you are Islamically married though the legal process, then, if you are tempted, it is halal for both of you to react accordingly. However, while you are not committed to each other because there is no nikah (marriage contract), it is haram for both of you to be together in seclusion or speak of topics that lead to the arousal of sexual desires. This also includes phone calls or cyberspace as these forms of communication also elicit human emotional responses.
It is very important that you safeguard your dignity and do what is right by yourselves and Allah Most Wise. In Islam, you are both adults and there is nothing wrong with getting married now if the brother you are involved with can support you at the minimal level. That should be sufficient to go ahead with the legal marriage and start a dignified and sacred relationship.
You must move beyond the Western mentality of marrying after graduation or marrying after he gets a job. As by that time, you may have committed many sins in the process of waiting. You have both reached a stage that requires you either restrict contact between each other—as it will be emotionally hard not to think about each other have you have been doing—or you help yourself by getting the nikah done in the proper Islamic manner in order to prevent subsequent sins.
May Allah Most High give you strength and guide you the straight path, in sha’ Allah.
Salam,
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