In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon him His Messenger Muhammad.

In principle, the marital relation between a husband and his wife should be based on mutual love and respect. But as problems and disagreement is expected in any human relationship, there has to be limits, rights and ultimate reference. From the Islamic point of view, it is the husband who is responsible for the family and thus all the members have to obey him because he is usually keen to bring benefits for them. This obedience is necessary for the stability of any organization. But in principle, “No obedience is due for a created being in disobeying the Creator”.

A wife who refuses to move to her husband’s house without a valid excuse is technically called nashiz (recalcitrant). A wife with this label has no right for living expenses. Waiting for USA passport is not a valid reason to disobey a husband. Such issues, however, should be settled through mutual consent and agreement.

The Quranic guidance in such cases of marital disputes dictates, “As to those [wives] whose [flagrant] defiance you fear, you shall admonish them. And, [should they persist], part with them in bed. And, [should they persist] strike them [with a light hand]. But if they obey you, then do not seek [to go] against them in any way. Indeed, God is ever exalted, all great. Moreover, [as to spouses in dispute], if you [believers] fear a split between the two of them, then send for an arbitrator from his people and another arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, God will bring about harmony between the two of them. Indeed, God is ever-knowing, all-aware.” (An-Nisaa’ 4:34-35)

May Allah reconcile your affairs.

Allah Almighty knows best.