Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,
I’m sorry to hear that you have been suffering with acute OCD, anxiety, and depression for the past 10 years without much progress. However, I am relieved to know that you have been taking medication: this is a difficult thing to do.
Regarding your statement about Islamic proof: The Quran or hadith do not specify OCD, anxiety or depression. However, what they do mention is the influence of Shaitan on you. This influence can occur repeatedly which may be your obsessional thoughts.
With that said, OCD is caused by some form of chemical imbalance in your brain, and the medication helps to balance those chemicals. There is no such Islamic proof about your conditions.
From the information you have provided it seems like you have comorbid severe anxiety about being with others or in a public place. This anxiety somewhat appears to be due to wearing a hijab or being Muslim, I suppose. Please, correct me if I’m wrong. This anxiety is leading to your depression, creating a viscous cycle.
It also appears that your father is exacerbating your anxiety by saying that someone will throw acid on your face. It is clear that your anxiety and depression is stemming from your OCD thoughts, your father’s unacceptance of your conversion, fearful statements from your father, and maybe several other family and life factors.
One thing that was not stated in the questions is whether you have undergone extensive counseling or therapy. Research has suggested that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the most successful form of treatment for anxiety and depression. Also, systematic desensitization is very helpful for anxiety. Have you had either of these forms of therapy?
Recommendations:
I don’t exactly know much about your treatment history; however, I will go ahead and give you some recommendations that may be helpful.
Search for therapists or psychologists in your city who treat specifically using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Systematic Desensitization. These treatment modalities, I believe, would be beneficial for you, especially to help relieve that anxiety so you can start going out without fear. The highest success rates are seen among clients who go through therapy and medication simultaneously. Please, be sure to do both together.
Also, I think family therapy would be good for you as well, that is if your father agrees to go with you to counseling. Hopefully, the therapist can educate him so he develops tolerance and respect for you and your faith.
Keep a check on what kinds of things you include in your diet. Probably the most overlooked form of therapy for treating Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and many disorders like it, is through whole food diet therapy. A diet rich in tryptophan, the amino acid precursor to serotonin, is essential to maintaining levels of serotonin (which is linked to depression and anxiety). The following foods are rich in this amino acid and should be incorporated into your diet regularly. This list includes: oatmeal, rice bran, eggs, cottage and swiss cheeses, blueberries, bananas, and turkey, roast beef, chicken, whole grains, salmon, tofu, brown rice, baked beans, broccoli, avocado, mackerel, potatoes, nuts and sunflower seeds. It is also advisable that you choose organic, pesticide and hormone free meats and veggies.
Try finding an Islamic convert group in your city. Converting to Islam can be a challenge depending on one’s family and environment. It seems like your environment is not accepting, therefore, try joining a group at your local mosque or talk to other sisters and brothers who are converts themselves. Try Googling such groups, you may find several in your area.
I’m wondering if you live with your parents as it is not clear in the info you provided. I know this could prove to be difficult, but if possible, try to perhaps move out and live independently. Sometimes removing yourself from negative people can be really helpful. However, if that is not possible, you will have to work on coping with this situation with your therapist.
One thing is far more important than any of this is doing dhikr and praying often. There is no bigger force or strength than remembring Allah (swt) and praying for Him (swt).
Last but not least, I want you to focus on yourself. Think about who you are as a person; think of your goals, accomplishments, dreams, etc. When you get depressed or anxious, take a moment, shut your eyes, think about a happy moment, memory, place in your life and enjoy the thought.
I hope this was helpful. You seem to have a lot of insight and self-awareness which is great. I must also say that it is very brave of you to reach out and post this question to get help. In sha’ Allah, keep the faith and things will get better soon.
If you have any further questions, feel free to send them to me.
Salam,
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