I was really excited but one day before the trip, I unfortunately entered a state of impurity and it ruined everything for me especially since I wasn't expecting it.
With just three days I couldn't do anything and we had to follow the itinerary and could not deviate from the plans made or stay overtime so that I could not perform Umrah while all my family members were able to.
I can't help but think Allah hates me even though I have been trying to get better at being a Muslim for a long time now. How am I supposed to see the wisdom in a situation like this?
Why would Allah prevent me from doing something good for Him when this might be one of my only chances to do so?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- You are grieving the loss of a beautiful dream, a plan, an expectation that was very close to your heart. This experience is a reminder of Qadr – that we plan, but Allah is the best of planners.
- There are still many acts of worship that you can do in a situation like this. Perhaps there is another lesson, gift, or opportunity for growth in this situation that will be revealed once you remain flexible and open to alternatives.
Assalamu alaikum, sister,
Thank you for your question. You explained that you went on an Umrah trip with your family for the first time in your life. You were very excited and you truly wanted to make this journey.
Went on Umrah and Got My Period; Does Allah Hate Me?
Unfortunately, right before you started, you entered a state of impurity, which made it impossible for you to complete your Umrah. Now you are struggling to see the wisdom in this. You wonder whether Allah is displeased with you, or why He prevented you from doing something good.
If I understand correctly, when you mentioned “impurity,” you were referring to your period. As a young woman, this may still be quite irregular, and you may not have expected it to happen at that time. Or maybe, due to your excitement, you forgot that this could be a realistic possibility.
Frustration and Disappointment
No matter the reason, I want you to know that I completely understand your frustration and disappointment. For us women, this can be a very difficult and emotionally trying situation, especially when we plan something as sacred and meaningful as Umrah.
Even if we plan carefully and try to prepare for everything, in the end Allah is the One who decides. Sometimes, even when we know logically that this might happen, it still hurts to experience it.
Please understand this clearly: this is not your fault. This is part of how Allah created your body and this cycle is natural and ongoing. It does not mean that Allah hates you or is displeased with you. It means that your body is healthy and funcioning well, alhamdulillah.
Grieving Dreams and Plans
What may be happening now is that you are grieving the loss of a beautiful dream, a plan, an expectation that was very close to your heart. And it could not happen.
And it is completely okay to feel sad, frustrated, confused, or even angry as a result. What can help your heart is slowly moving toward acceptance. Understand that, in small matters and in big matters, the final decision belongs to Allah alone.
This experience is a reminder of Qadr – that we plan, but Allah is the best of planners. Whatever noble goals we have, still, we always have to keep a certain degree of uncertainty. And the “cure” for uncertainty is tawakkul – trust in the will of Allah – because we learn not to take our desires for granted.
Staying Flexible
What else can help? Even though you were unable to perform the main rituals, there are still many acts of worship that you can do in a situation like this. For example, making duʿā’, remembering Allah, reflecting, visiting religious sites, and strengthening your intention.
Perhaps there is another lesson, gift, or opportunity for growth in this situation, and you will see that if you remain flexible and open to alternatives.
Also, remember that you are going to be rewarded for your intention to complete the pilgrimage. Allah SWT is perfectly aware of your situation and also that you did not do the rituals for a reason which is out of your control.
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: He who intended to do good, but did not do it, one good was recorded for him, and he who intended to do good and also did it, ten to seven hundred good deeds were recorded for him. And he who intended evil, but did not commit it, no entry was made against his name, but if he committed that, it was recorded. Sahih Muslim 130
You are still young, in shā’ Allāh you will have other opportunities to perform Umrah in the future. May Allah grant you that blessing.