Dear Brothers/Sisters,

Thank you very much for joining us in this Fatwa session. We would also like to thank our guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers to your questions below. 

Question 1:

Is it permissible to have maladaptive daydreams if the daydreams are free from sinful scenarios or if sin is encouraging music?

Answer 1:

As far as I know, it is unhealthy to become habituated to daydreaming, as it may interfere with normal functioning. Therefore, if you experience this condition regularly, it is advisable to seek professional therapy. Also, you should occupy your mind with beneficial works or projects and continue to pray to Allah for His help and blessings. 

You should know that time is the most critical asset we have. We must use it to gain salvation so we cannot waste it on frivolities. Imam Shafi said, “If you don’t use your time in beneficial works, Satan will keep you occupied with his works.”

While it is normal to daydream occasionally, one should never get carried away with it and make it a regular habit.

So, seek refuge in Allah and seek out goals that are beneficial and pleasing to Allah.

Question 2:

Can I pay my father zakat from my gold to pay off his debts?

Answer 2:

As a daughter, you should help your father with funds other than Zakah if you can afford to do so. If she has no other means, she may do so as ruled by Imam Ibn Taymiyyah.

Question 3:

I honestly forgot to pay my Zakatul Fitr (wealth from last year to this year) b4 Ramadan ended, can I still pay it or am I sinful? What to do?

Answer 3:

You sinned by disobeying the order of the Prophet (peace be upon him), so you should ask Allah for forgiveness and offer it as a charity. On top of that, you also resolve never to commit this mistake again.

According to Abdullah Ibn Abbas, “The Messenger of Allah instituted the obligation to pay Zakatul Fitr as a means of purification for the fasting person from frivolities and foulness and as a provision for the poor (for the day of Eid); so whoever gives it out before the Prayer, it is credited towards that; and whoever gives it out after the Prayer, it is considered as a regular charity” (Reported by Imam Ahmad and others)

Question 4:

We are often told that a woman who takes divorce without any strong reason won’t even smell the fragrance of Jannah then what about men who divorce their wives for no reason? Aren’t they sinful? I’ve often heard from scholars that a man doesn’t need a reason to divorce his wife. My sister’s husband is divorcing her just because she’s infertile after a miscarriage and scholars say he’s not sinful for this. Please clarify Shaykh.

Answer 4:

If deemed sound, the hadith you have referred to refers to those rushing to seek divorce without any valid reason. Since marriage is a solemn contract, both parties have entered it by invoking the witness of Allah. Therefore, seeking a divorce for no valid reason is a breach of contract and, hence, a grave sin. Allah has ordered us to be faithful to our pledges and contracts.  Allah says that (Believers are) those who faithfully uphold their trust and promises.” (Qur’an: 23: 8)

Furthermore, marriage is the foundation of a robust society, and we should work hard to preserve it.

It is, therefore, a grave offense by either spouse, husband, or wife to break this foundation. Seeking divorce without any valid reason cannot be tolerated. It applies equally to men and women.

It is wrong for anyone to say that while a wife must be faithful to her contract, a man can divorce his wife for frivolous reasons. Such is a grave offense against Allah and the sacred law of the Sharia. As Imam Ibn al-Qayyim states, projecting wrong opinions or statements as the laws of Allah is akin to associating partners with Allah, which is the foremost of the major sins in Islam. Mind you, it is, therefore, an unforgivable sin.

In conclusion, resorting to divorce for no valid reason is a grave sin.  No matter who commits it, whether a husband or his wife, the sin is a sin.  

Question 5:

I will try to keep my story as detailed as possible. I will start from the beginning
I am a female enrolled in a university in US.
I met my husband in my college last year and he approached me for marriage.
When I approached my elder sister regarding this proposal she did not like the idea that I want to marry a guy who is 10 year older to me and she called him a pedophile when she was talking with me on the phone and he was around near me and he heard that. He never confronted her anyone he never said anything and kept quite. Around that time within a month or so my sister , who was of the age of marriage told my parents about her haram relationship with a guy who is not a Muslim. It was a horrible time for my parents. Also, I already knew about her haram relationship but I never told my parents so I made a mistake on my end too by not informing my parents ever before. When this was happening my parents asked me if I like some boy or anything is going on I somehow got the courage to say about my husband who asked me for marriage. My parents did not guy any bad reaction they asked me if I want to marry him and decided to meet with his family and talk with my husband to know more. They liked everything Alhamdulliah and my marriage got fixed. Within two months I got married . At that point I stopped talking with my elder sister because she was constantly send me horrible texts and also, I told my parents truth about me knowing about my sister’s haram relationship. But I didn’t tell my parents that my husband heard what my sister said about him and that I also shared about my sister’s relationship with my husband. He is against all of this and rightly he should be but he kept quite for me he always told me that it isn’t my parents mistake how all these things happened all now that matters is what action my parents take. But, over time my parents starting having a normal relationship with my sister , talking nicely and all. I didn’t say them anything for it as long as I don’t have to talk with her. But, around my wedding, they started forcing me to talk with her. I was against it because of the things she said to me and my husband. They started emotionally blackmailing me, telling me about religion and eventually forced me to talk with her using force (verbally) by shouting and getting angry. I controlled my self and didn’t say anything and talked with her. I asked them about what action they are taking in regards to her relationship they told me that they are trying to explain her nicely. But, all I see is them being super nice with each other , and going out for vacation. Which I feel is too nice and seems like it’s getting normalised. So because of this during the wedding, I was sad all the time and made a mistake of sharing it with my husband after marriage. He got angry and told me that he is never going to talk with my father. I tried to calm him and told him okay. But then, my father keeps on askinh why doesn’t he talk to us. I forgot to mention her that my parents warned me not to share anything about all of the house issues with my husband but they don’t know that I already told him everything.
I have been married to my husband for 3 months now. Overall he is a very good husband to me but we have been fighting a lot and mostly because of this mattter where I am trying to convince him to talk with my father specially on occasions like Eid and Ramadan. But he said he will not and he don’t care what I say to my husband.
My father always try to talk nicely with him and text and call him but my husband isn’t interested. He is angry over the fact that my father is forcing me to talk with my sister specially now that I am married to him and do not belong to my father’s house. He sees this as a disrespect to him from my father because my father is made me talk to my sister who called him a pedophile.
Today was Eid and my father texted him he didn’t reply which made my father very upset and kept on asking me why doesn’t he talk what is thr problem I do not know what to do.
I feel I made a mistake sharing all of that with my husband.
I am in a difficult situation where I am always fighting with my husband because of this issue and when I talk with my parents they constantly ask me why my husband doesn’t talk.
Please guide me on what to do moving forward. This matter has made it horrible for my marriage and also for my relationship with my parents and of my parents with my husband. It has caused a lot of suffering which I want to make better.
Should I tell my parents the truth ? I do not want to make a mistake moving ahead.

Answer 5:

Your sister has committed a grave offense; she has wronged herself, your husband, and all of you. Her actions have caused this trauma. Your husband is justified in refusing to speak with your sister or your father for insisting he talk to her while she has made such an allegation against him.

Therefore, you should tell your father why he is not responding to his requests.

I urge your sister and all of you to seek repentance. However, it’s important to note that her repentance will only be complete when she sincerely apologizes to your husband. 

Allah says, “Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful.” (Qur’an: 24:31)

Once, she has apologized for her mistake, your husband should forgive her; by doing so, he takes the higher moral ground.

Question 5:

I will try to keep my story as detailed as possible. I will start from the beginning
I am a female enrolled in a university in US.
I met my husband in my college last year and he approached me for marriage.
When I approached my elder sister regarding this proposal she did not like the idea that I want to marry a guy who is 10 year older to me and she called him a pedophile when she was talking with me on the phone and he was around near me and he heard that. He never confronted her anyone he never said anything and kept quite. Around that time within a month or so my sister , who was of the age of marriage told my parents about her haram relationship with a guy who is not a Muslim. It was a horrible time for my parents. Also, I already knew about her haram relationship but I never told my parents so I made a mistake on my end too by not informing my parents ever before. When this was happening my parents asked me if I like some boy or anything is going on I somehow got the courage to say about my husband who asked me for marriage. My parents did not guy any bad reaction they asked me if I want to marry him and decided to meet with his family and talk with my husband to know more. They liked everything Alhamdulliah and my marriage got fixed. Within two months I got married . At that point I stopped talking with my elder sister because she was constantly send me horrible texts and also, I told my parents truth about me knowing about my sister’s haram relationship. But I didn’t tell my parents that my husband heard what my sister said about him and that I also shared about my sister’s relationship with my husband. He is against all of this and rightly he should be but he kept quite for me he always told me that it isn’t my parents mistake how all these things happened all now that matters is what action my parents take. But, over time my parents starting having a normal relationship with my sister , talking nicely and all. I didn’t say them anything for it as long as I don’t have to talk with her. But, around my wedding, they started forcing me to talk with her. I was against it because of the things she said to me and my husband. They started emotionally blackmailing me, telling me about religion and eventually forced me to talk with her using force (verbally) by shouting and getting angry. I controlled my self and didn’t say anything and talked with her. I asked them about what action they are taking in regards to her relationship they told me that they are trying to explain her nicely. But, all I see is them being super nice with each other , and going out for vacation. Which I feel is too nice and seems like it’s getting normalised. So because of this during the wedding, I was sad all the time and made a mistake of sharing it with my husband after marriage. He got angry and told me that he is never going to talk with my father. I tried to calm him and told him okay. But then, my father keeps on askinh why doesn’t he talk to us. I forgot to mention her that my parents warned me not to share anything about all of the house issues with my husband but they don’t know that I already told him everything.
I have been married to my husband for 3 months now. Overall he is a very good husband to me but we have been fighting a lot and mostly because of this mattter where I am trying to convince him to talk with my father specially on occasions like Eid and Ramadan. But he said he will not and he don’t care what I say to my husband.
My father always try to talk nicely with him and text and call him but my husband isn’t interested. He is angry over the fact that my father is forcing me to talk with my sister specially now that I am married to him and do not belong to my father’s house. He sees this as a disrespect to him from my father because my father is made me talk to my sister who called him a pedophile.
Today was Eid and my father texted him he didn’t reply which made my father very upset and kept on asking me why doesn’t he talk what is thr problem I do not know what to do.
I feel I made a mistake sharing all of that with my husband.
I am in a difficult situation where I am always fighting with my husband because of this issue and when I talk with my parents they constantly ask me why my husband doesn’t talk.
Please guide me on what to do moving forward. This matter has made it horrible for my marriage and also for my relationship with my parents and of my parents with my husband. It has caused a lot of suffering which I want to make better.
Should I tell my parents the truth ? I do not want to make a mistake moving ahead.

Answer 5:

Your sister has committed a grave offense; she has wronged herself, your husband, and all of you. Her actions have caused this trauma. Your husband is justified in refusing to speak with your sister or your father for insisting he talk to her while she has made such an allegation against him.

Therefore, you should tell your father why he is not responding to his requests.

I urge your sister and all of you to seek repentance. However, it’s important to note that her repentance will only be complete when she sincerely apologizes to your husband. 

Allah says, “Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful.” (Qur’an: 24:31)

Once, she has apologized for her mistake, your husband should forgive her; by doing so, he takes the higher moral ground.

Question 6:

I have supported three Muslim children since 2015. There is no father or mother. The eldest sister has two boys. She is 24 years old now. She asked me to marry her because she said I supported them and she loved me. Is it permissible for me to marry her? My Muslim name is Usama. I converted to Islam in 1993.

Answer 6:      

 You are allowed to marry her.  Your support of her from childhood does not create a barrier to marriage since she is not your blood relative.

In other words, merely supporting or maintaining her does not make you her father or guardian.

Question 7:

I have a question; me and my family really enjoy a game called Mario party. it is a game that contains minigames. however, the game contains dice as it is a board game but does not rely entirely on luck as the way to win is mixed with minigames and board movement to win. the person with the most amount of coins which is obtained with minigames and board movement such as landing on a blue space gives you coins and red space which takes coins but the minigames (which take skill) gives you the most coins in the game and the person with the most coins wins the game. In conclusion i am mostly concerned with the dice element. jazak alakhair

Answer 7:

You are allowed to play this game as an occasional pastime only. However, you should be careful to avoid becoming addicted to it. Time is our greatest asset. We ought to use it for work that entails salvation. So, we cannot afford to waste time on frivolous pursuits. Allah reminds us that the believers are those who sun frivolities.

Remember the words of the Prophet (peace be upon him): On the day of judgment, we will regret all those sessions we spent without remembering Allah.

Question 8:

This question has been bothering me for six months. I want to reach my highest potential, and I wish to travel abroad for higher education so that I can have a wonderful career. I was watching some scholarly videos where the scholars say that it’s haram even in an airplane to travel because a mahram is there to protect her, and a guy can even harass her in an airplane. With that logic, it’s even haram to go to a public place like a restaurant because men are everywhere and this can happen anywhere. A guy can even ask you for your number in a local bus travel. Does that make it haram? Even the same thing can happen at the workplace or a university. Being a woman, I can easily say no if I see a guy approaching me or complain if it’s a workplace or maybe ignore it altogether if it’s a public place or slap him to show him his place. It’s someone else’s sin then why would it be haram for me to be without mehram because of the possibility of this happening when I can easily handle with these things. Please clarify! I want to be a strong independent and fearless woman. Also, often the ayah 33 of surah Ahzab is cited to ask us to stay home. How do we reconcile it with the permissibility of going out? Since childhood, I was told it’s haram to go out with friends as it’s not a need!

Answer 8:

Islam encourages both men and women to pursue knowledge. Islamic history is full of women who specialize in hadith, jurisprudence, literature, etc.

The Prophet set an Example as he educated his wives, including Aishah and Umm Salmah, to pass on his legacy of knowledge. We are told that Aishah was one of the greatest scholars of hadith, fiqh, tafsir, and literature; she taught hundreds of people, men and women.

Contrary to the prevailing narrative, Islamic history is replete with examples of women scholars. As Goldziher noted, at a time when Europe had no female professors, Islamic societies boasted hundreds of women teaching hadith and other Islamic sciences, following in the footsteps of Aishah and Umm Salmah.

Let this be a reminder that Islam does not hinder your pursuit of knowledge. You are free to follow your dreams and embark on higher studies. The path is open, and the possibilities are endless.

As you can clearly understand, the verse you referred to above is addressed exclusively to the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him); therefore, it is wrong to generalize it and apply it to all Muslim women.

O wives of the Prophet! You are not like other women. If you are reverent, then be not overly soft in speech, lest one whose heart is a disease be moved to desire and speak honorably.  Abide in your homes and flaunt not your charms as they did flaunt them in the prior Age of Ignorance. Perform the prayer, give the alms, and obey God and His Messenger. God only desires to remove defilement from you, O People of the House, and to purify you completely.” (Qur’an: 33: 32-33).  

Since it is addressed exclusively to the wives of the Prophet, we cannot apply it to all other women. How can we do so when we know that women were active participants in all aspects of life in the community during the Prophet’s time?? They were there in the marketplace, in the mosque, and on the battlefields, rendering beneficial services for the community.

As for the issue of women traveling without a mahram, let me cite here one of my previous answers:

“As a woman, if you have a genuine reason to travel, then you are allowed to travel without a mahram—provided that you have taken all the necessary precautions for your safety and security during the course of your journey. This can be done by making prior arrangements for a safe journey to and from the airport, as well as for your stay with trusted Muslim friends or in a hotel under the guidance of the organizers of the conference. I assume that the conference you are attending is being organized by a reputable Muslim organization; if not, at least by a reputable organization or institution with integrity and acceptable ethical and moral standards.

Islamic laws are not whimsical dictates of a tyrannical master who is simply testing the obedience of his slaves; rather they are the orders of Allah, Who is All-Wise and All-Knowing. His orders have tangible purposes and objectives that are discernible for all rational minds. The Prophet’s interdict against a woman’s travel without a mahram is primarily intended to ensure that a woman’s honor, dignity, and reputation are fully protected. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is also reported to have made the following statement in the early years of his mission in Makkah: “I will continue to struggle with this mission until a woman can travel (all by herself freely) without any fear for her safety!” It is, therefore, only reasonable for us to assume that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while forbidding women from undertaking a journey of three days without a mahram, had in mind the perils of the journey in the wide expanse of the desert where there was no semblance of law and order; where in fact, for all practical purposes, the predatory tribal lifestyle prevailed before Islam established law and order.

It is also for this reason that we find that `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), the beloved wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), while being fully aware of the above Prophetic interdict, replied when someone asked her if a woman could travel without a mahram, “Can everyone find a mahram always?” In other words, if a woman needs to travel, she can do so if she can be reasonably assured of her safety and protection. We also read that Imam Shafi`i’s mother traveled from Gaza to Makkah carrying the imam, who was still a toddler at the time, in her own arms in a safe company. It is for these reasons that we find that a number of eminent scholars from both the Maliki and Shafi`i schools have ruled that a woman can travel without a mahram as long as she can find a safe company.

Today in counties where law and order prevail, we can be reasonably assured of a woman’s safety and security especially in airplanes and public transportation networks. As some scholars have rightly pointed out, these conditions are vastly superior in terms of safety and security than the perilous and unpredictable conditions of a remote desert especially in the past. So I do not find anything wrong for you to undertake this journey if you have to; nor do I think that your parents should be particularly concerned about your safety in this case. Perhaps you should have a free and frank discussion with them on this matter. You should also give them the details of your booking and relevant travel details, as well as your contacts in the city of your destination, including your stay or hotel arrangements. May Allah grant us all rectitude in speech and action. Ameen.”

Question 9:

My sister is turning away from the islam because of many religious rulings she has heard from the social media specially when it comes to the disbelievers issue. We’re told since childhood that Islam is a religion based on mercy and love then why did Prophet Muhammad PBUH said that it was permissible to shed the blood of hypocrites just because they were pretending to Pray in the mosque? Also, there’s another hadith where he says that if dogs weren’t a nation, he’d have ordered to kill them. Her question is that why were dogs to be killed for no reason? This is why she’s now very depressed and asking herself whether she’s a Muslim or not if she starts hating these rulings.

Answer 9:

It is wrong to say that the Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered the killing of the hypocrites. Instead, he forbade killing them, inspiring their collaboration with the enemies within and outside Madinah. The most glaring example of this is his treatment of Abdullah Ibn Ubayy b. Salul was the chief of the munafiqs in Madina. He was known for his hatred towards the Prophet (peace be upon him), spoke ill of him, and stirred up people against him. His aggressive behavior toward the Prophet even turned his son against him, so he asked the Prophet’s permission to kill him. The Prophet, however, stopped him and told him that we would treat him honorably instead. When he died, his son came to the Prophet, conveying him the news. He gave him his shirt to shroud him, perchance Allah may ease his punishment; he also went out of his way to stand on his grave to plead for Allah’s mercy for him. Allah stopped the stopped through the revelation of the following verse:

“Never pray for any of them who dies, nor shall you stand at his graveside. They denied God and His Messenger, and they died while they were rebellious.” (Qur’an: 9: 84).

Now, regarding dogs, one should study the issue in context while considering the fundamental principles of the Quran.

Let us state upfront the Quranic teaching of treating God’s creation:

“There is no creature that crawls upon the earth, nor a bird that flies upon its wings, but that they are communities like yourselves—We have neglected nothing in the Book—and they shall be gathered unto their Lord in the end.” (Qur’an: 6: 38).

The Prophet (peace be upon him), therefore, said, “If dogs were not part of communities (like humans), I would have ordered killing them.” 

However, one may find certain traditions where the Prophet ordered the killing of dogs. In contrast, other traditions teach us the importance of treating every creature with mercy, including dogs. He told us the story of a prostitute who was forgiven because of her act of compassion towards a dog that was on the verge of death because of extreme thirst. (Reported by Bukhari)

So, how do we reconcile the two types of traditions? The only explanation is that he did order the killing of stray dogs that posed a threat to the safety of the people at one time. So, it is understandable that this order was directed at dogs with rabies or deemed dangerous that pose a danger to humans or animals. That is the only rational way of reconciling the Prophetic teachings on such issues. Therefore, it is wrong to generalize this rule.

Ibn Umar reports that dogs used to frequent the Prophet’s mosque through one door and exit through another, yet the Prophet did nothing to stop them.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, was sent as a mercy to the entire creation. He said, “Show mercy to those on earth so you can expect the mercy of the One in heaven.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others)

“Whoever does not show mercy to the creation will not receive the mercy of Allah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

In conclusion, we are not allowed to kill dogs or any other creature unless they cannot be restrained and they pose a threat to the lives of humans or other animals.

Question 10:

I’m thinking to get into marriage but some questions are bothering me. As a woman, I can’t share my love, husband with anyone but I’ve heard that it’s haram to tell your husband that he can’t take a second wife. I’ve read your answers already that it can be stipulated in the marriage contract then why do some scholars say it’s haram to stop your husband? Futhermore, there’s a scholar on social media, he was telling that prophet Muhammad pbuh said to Hazrat Ali that taking another wife is permissible for everyone except him as he didn’t want his daughter to get hurt. So does that mean only Hazrat Fatima had this right to be his only wife while other it’s haram for other women to wish for this? I’m asking this because of this hadith as stated by that scholar which seems to mean that only she had this right not the others

Answer 10

It is perfectly acceptable for a woman before marriage to stipulate a condition that he would marry her only on the condition that he would not take a second wife. For details on this, you can consult the answer linked below:

Question 11:

My question is
i am working in company as Electrician and they donot have purchasing team. The company told to buy the goods from market. Suppose The market cost is 1500/-. Here i have wholesale vendor who is giving in 1200/-. Here with the help of wholesale dealer, I buy from wholesale cost and take the receipt with market cost 1500/- and pay to vendor vendor or he took the 1200/-. What is the status for 300/- amount as Halal or Haram?

Answer 11:

I am sorry to inform you that I do not answer questions related to Islamic finance issues. You may consult Dr. Monzer Kahf, an expert on such matters. You can contact him here: monzer.kahf.com.

Question 12:

If I owned a gas station and a bear once or twice a year was knocking over grease dumpsters that hold 20 plus gallons of grease and destroying trash containers and causing a mess is it permissible to kill the bear?

Answer 12:

You cannot kill the bear because it destroyed your trash containers. You keep using safe devices or methods of keeping them away from your property.  

Question 13:

Is Islam really against women being bold and confident? I’m asking this because of this hadith where women were beaten for being bold in front of their husbands
Abu Dhubab said:
“The Prophet said: ‘Do not beat the female slaves of Allah.’ Then ‘Umar came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, the woman have become bold towards their husbands? So order the beatin g of them,’ and they were beaten. Then many women went around to the family of Muhammad,. The next day he said: ‘Last night seventy women came to the family of Muhammad, each woman complaining about her husband. You will not find that those are the best of you.’ “

Please clarify this and more about the hitting verse

Answer 13:

Islam teaches us to look up to the Prophet as our role model:

“Indeed, you have in the Messenger of God a beautiful example for those who hope for God and the Last Day, and remember God much.” (Qur’an:33: 21).

So, what is his ideal example for us in dealing with our wives? The answer is clear; he said, “The best of you is the one who is the kindest toward his family, and I am the kindest to my family.”  (Reported by Ibn Majah)

Anas b. Malik, who served him for ten years, testified, “I have never seen a person more compassionate toward his family than the Messenger of Allah.” (Reported by Muslim)

Now, what was the example he set for us in this issue? His beloved wife, Aishah, says, “The Messenger of Allah never struck anyone: neither a man nor a woman or a servant; he wielded the sword while engaged in battle only.” (Reported by Muslim)

This profound compassion is a testament to his character and a source of inspiration for us all.

Most traditions cited in this context are either doubtful or weak, if not altogether fabricated.

Permitting to strike gently cannot be as beating to cause harm or injury. According to the eminent companion Ibn Abbas, it is not using a stick or whip but through a tooth stick!” That is, too, in extreme cases involving serious offenses. 

Having said this, the Prophet wanted to teach us that there are better ways of dealing with our wives. 

He taught us the principle of overlooking our wives’ mistakes and dwelling on their strengths. He said, “Let no believing husband hate his wife for her unpalatable traits of character, for if he finds something unpalatable, he will certainly find something pleasing in her.”  (Reported by Muslim)

Question 14:

My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me and then I got involved with another girl (I kissed that girl only) thinking my girlfriend was gone forever.

I started regretting it because I still love her and she got back with me after some time. I have started praying 5 times a day and asking for forgiveness and I am repenting ever since. I am expecting to marry my girlfriend in the future very soon, Inn Sha Allah. I have convinced her to pray too.

Should I tell my girlfriend about the involvement with another girl or should I keep it a secret because she might leave me forever?

Thank you.

Answer 14:

Let me first make one point clear: There is no room for a boyfriend-girlfriend liaison in Islam. Islam allows, however, to find marriage partners in public spaces or with family members or friends. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “When a man and woman are isolated, Satan is bound to join as their third companion.” (Reported by Bukhari)

 Therefore, I urge you to observe Islamic etiquette. 

If both of you plan to marry, you must do so by Islamic rules.

Now, whether you should divulge the offense you committed, the answer is no.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If any one of you has been tested by indulging in any of the dirty acts, you should not lift the cover Allah has placed over it.” (Reported by Al-Bayhaqi and others)

Therefore, you should seek repentance and ask Allah’s forgiveness while doing all you can to expiate for the mistake and resolve never to do it again.

The fact that you are now serious about your prayers and remaining steadfast is a good sign. I urge you to continue that. You should pray to Allah thus:

“Our Lord, don’t let our hearts deviate after You have guided us. Grant us mercy from Yourself; You are the Dispenser of graces.” (Qur’an: 3: 8)

Question 15:

My question is it true that a girl can be married before puberty in Islam? If that’s the case, how is it possible to marry someone who doesn’t have any desire? If her consent isn’t required if she’s a minor, then how can she be put to consummate the marriage? A ruling like this turns many people away from Islam. I’m a medical student myself, and that is what makes me think more about this thing because I always thought that consummation before reaching puberty is haram in Islam. I love my religion a lot, and I don’t want to turn away like other people because it’s so painful for a woman to consummate the marriage If she doesn’t have any desire. Please clarify this sensitive issue

Answer 15:

According to the Quran, marriage is a solemn contract between two consenting adults. So, there is no room in Islam for a coerced marriage. Allah says, “And among His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, mates, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. In that are signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an: 30: 21)

How can there be comfort and tranquility in a marriage that is forced on either of the spouses? That is why the Prophet said, “No woman who was never married before should be married without her consent, and her consent can be inferred from her silence (as she may be shy), but as for someone who had been married before should be married without a clear statement of consent.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

So, there is no valid marriage without a woman’s consent, whether young or old. A young girl may be too shy to say it aloud; the Prophet told us that her consent can be gauged from her silence when asked about it. So, there is no way for anyone to say that Islam allows a father or guardian to marry their daughter without her approval.

If a girl has been married while she has given consent to it, can her husband have a sexual union with her? Imam Ibn Taymiyya has ruled that it cannot be allowed in Islam as it may be hurtful to her.  The Prophet has established the rule: There shall be no toleration of inflicting harm or reciprocating harm with another harm.”

Therefore, the jurists have inferred a golden rule from the above Prophetic statement: where there is a risk of causing harm, it should be removed. In conclusion, if such practices are prevalent, the state should intervene to stop them to prevent harm. 

Question 16:

Am I sinful for staying in a forced marriage and not being able to give my husband his physical rights all the time

Am i sinful for staying in a forced marriage and not being able to accept my husband? I fulfill all his rights, take care of his family but I hate being intimate with him and say no most of the time.
I had told him when he sent the proposal that I was not interested and to stay away and kept telling him I was pressured to accept him all throughout our engagement period of 2 years. I’ve tried for divorce multiple times but both families reject it. Now i’m stuck with a man I don’t even want to look at. What should I do

Answer 16:

Islam considers marriage as a contract between a man and woman to gain comfort and tranquility through a happy union based on mutual love and affection.

Allah says, “And among His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, mates, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. In that are signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an: 30: 21)

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) never allowed a father to marry off his daughter without her consent.

Once, a woman complained to the Prophet that her father had married her to his nephew to raise his family status.  When the Prophet confirmed that her statement was true, he gave her the choice to dissolve the marriage. At that point, she told the Prophet I had accepted his choice for me, but I wanted to let every woman know that they had the right to choose for themselves.” (Reported by Ad-Daraqutni and others)

In other words, ultimately, it is a woman’s choice, and not that of her father or guardian, to decide whom she wants to marry. 

Considering these, if you have been forced to marry someone and you do not wish to live with him, you have the right to seek divorce.

Question 17:

My wife said and shared her commitment to seeking Jannah through consistent acts of Zikr/Quran recitation daily, alongside caring for our children. In contrast, our interactions are mostly disagreements, arguments, and avoidance. Is she right? What are your thoughts on this? How would you have navigated this situation?

Answer 17:

Islam teaches us to live balanced lives, fulfilling our obligations to Allah and toward His creation.

It is stated succinctly by the Prophet’s eminent companion, Salman al-Farisi, when he told his friend Abu al-Darda, “Your Lord has rights over you; your body has rights over you; your spouse has rights over you; so, you should give each one of them their due.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Salman gave the above advice when he observed that Abu al-Darda was solely occupied by worship, ignoring his wife’s rights. He wanted to teach him that Islam is all about balancing our rights and duties without neglecting anyone’s side.

When the Prophet learned about what Salman told Abu al-Darda; the Prophet said, “Salman is right.” 

Therefore, if your wife wants to please Allah, she cannot do so at the expense of neglecting her spousal duties as a wife. She can never expect to please Allah by going to such extremes. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “You will gain rewards (of charity) through your act of sexual intimacy with your spouses. On hearing this, the companions exclaimed, “You mean we gain rewards for fulfilling our sexual desires?” he replied, “Of course. How about if you were to go and fulfill it outside the bounds of marriage? Will you not be punished for doing so? They said, “Of course’;’ and then he said, “Likewise, you will be rewarded for fulfilling your sexual desires within the bounds of marriage.” (Reported by Muslim)

Therefore, I would urge your wife to lead a balanced life by fulfilling her duties towards Allah without sacrificing her spousal responsibilities. That is the Islamic way, and that is the only way for her to gain the pleasure of Allah.

Question 18:

The guy I want to get married to is impressive, but his family’s reputation is not so good. Does it matter in Islam to look at his family more than the guy? But the guy is very nice.

Answer 18:

Allah teaches us in the Qur’an: “No soul does evil, save against itself, and none shall bear the burden of another.” (Qur’an: 6: 164)

“Or has he not been informed of that which is in the scriptures of Moses and Abraham, who fulfilled that none shall bear the burden of another” (Qur’an 53: 36-38)

Since each person is responsible for themselves, you cannot fault the man for the poor reputation of his family. Therefore, ask: Is this person of sound faith, integrity, and character? If you are satisfied with the answer, then you may marry him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If a person of sound faith and character proposes for marriage, marry him; otherwise, you may be paving the way for corruption in the land.” (Reported by at-Tirmidhi)

Question 19:

is becoming a doctor better in the eyes of Allah, or can I choose other computer-based or finance-based careers, too?

Answer 19:

Allah wants us to choose beneficial careers as long as we can excel and do justice to them. Allah says, 

“Say, “Work! God and His Messenger and the believers will see your work. Then you will be returned to the Knower of the unseen and the seen, and He will inform you of everything you did.” (Qur’an: 9: 105)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Allah wants you to do the work you are setting out to do as beautifully as possible” (Reported by Busiri).

So, which of the two fields can you put your heart and excel in?  If medicine is a profession dear to your heart, go for it. By doing so, you are rendering an excellent service; serving humanity for the pleasure of Allah is like serving Allah.

However, if your preferred choice is computer science or finance, you should go for it. Whatever area you choose, make sure to put your heart and soul into it to please Allah and not merely to make money.

And never stop praying to Allah to inspire you to make the right choice. You may perform Salatul istikharah.

On performing istikharah, let me cite here one of my previous answers:

“Istikharah means, “seeking the best course of action.” In Islam, it is used for approaching Allah through Prayer for guidance in a case when one cannot make up his mind. It should, however, be pointed out, that Istikharah applies strictly to cases that are halal (lawful or permissible), since there cannot be a question of choice concerning matters that are considered haram (unlalwful or impermissible).

When faced with important decisions in life, a believer is persuaded to use all of his Allah-given resources, as well as to consult people who are known for their knowledge, piety and sound opinion. After having done so, he can turn to Allah for guidance.

Humans are limited in knowledge, and Allah alone possesses perfect knowledge. Allah has told us that He alone possesses the keys to all that is good. He has also promised to help us if we turn to Him earnestly and sincerely.

We see around us people doing all sorts of things for confirmation when faced with important decisions in their life. The Pre-Islamic Arabs resorted to the practice of divining with arrows or the stirring of birds. In modern times, even some of the most prominent people consult astrologers, psychics, gurus or so called spiritual masters. Islam teaches that since Allah alone knows the unseen realities, and He alone is awa

re of what is good for us in an absolute sense, we must seek His help.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) taught us how to do so. He told us that if we are faced with decisions in life and are unable to make up our mind, we must approach Allah through Prayer. This Prayer is called Prayer of Istikharah. It is a Sunnah or a highly recommended act. The specific method of doing it, is as follows:

First, one must offer a Prayer of two rak`ahs with the intention of seeking guidance from Allah. Then he should offer the following supplication:

“Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi`ilmika, wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, wa as’aluka min fadlika al-azim, fa’innaka taqdiru wala aqdiru, wa ta`lamu wa la a`lamu, wa anta `allamu-l-ghuyub.

Allahumma, in kunta ta`lamu anna hadhal-amra [here mention your case] khairun li fi dini wa ma`ashi wa `aqibati ‘amri (or ‘ajili amri wa`ajilihi) faqdurhu li wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li fihi.

Wa in ta`lamu anna hadhal-amra sharrun li fi deeni wa ma`ashi wa `aqibati ‘amri (or `ajili amri wa ajilihi) fasrifhu `anni was-rifni `anhu, waqdur liya al-khaira haithu kana thumma ‘ardini bihi.”

(O Allah, I seek Your help in finding out the best course of action (in this matter) by invoking Your knowledge; I ask You to empower me, and I beseech Your favor. You alone have the absolute power, while I have no power. You alone know it all, while I do not. You are the One Who knows the hidden mysteries. O Allah, if You know this thing (I am embarking on) [here mention your case] is good for me in my religion, worldly life, and my ultimate destiny, then facilitate it for me, and then bless me in my action. If, on the other hand, You know this thing is detrimental for me in my religion, worldly life, and ultimate destiny, turn it awa

y from me, and turn me away from it, and decree what is good for me, wherever it may be, and make me content with it.)

After having done so, he should follow the decision that he is strongly inclined to. If he feels no such inclination, then he should choose one of the options; he can rest assured that Allah will guide his steps. It has been reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “One who asks Allah for guidance in choosing the best course of action will never be a loser.”

It is not at all necessary for a person to have visions or dreams following Istikharah. However, if a person does experience a vision or dream, and he feels strongly about it, he should follow it.” (Source: www.islam.ca)

Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah bless his soul) adds:

“After making Istikharah, a person must do what he or she is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should not insist on doing what he had desired to do before making the Istikharah. And if his or her feelings change, he or she should leave what he or she had intended to do, for otherwise he or she is not leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking help from Allah’s power and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah’s choice means that one should completely abandon what one desired oneself.”

You may also supplicate thus:

Allahumma khir lee wa ikhtar lee fainnee laa uhsinu al-ikhtiyaar

(O Allah, guide me and help me to choose what is best for me as I do not know to choose what is best for me)

Question 20:

If a husband and a wife have been married for 20 years but they only have sex for 5 mins. But they haven’t slept with each other for 20 years. Does marriage become invalid?

Answer 20:

It is up to them to decide whether they want to be together in a relationship that is not fulfilling or if they do not derive mutual satisfaction from it. 

Islam does not force anyone to continue in an unfulfilling marriage. That is why, when a marriage fails in its objectives, Islam allows couples to part ways amicably for their own emotional and spiritual health.