Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Thanks for participating in the session.

Please find the 8 questions to which our counselor provided audio answers. If you do not find yours here, check out our upcoming session or submit it there again.

Question 1. Being involved with another girl after breakup.

Assalamualaikum.

My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me and then I got involved with another girl (I kissed that girl only) thinking my girlfriend was gone forever.

I started regretting it because I still love her and she got back with me after some time. I have started praying 5 times a day and asking for forgiveness and I am repenting ever since. I am expecting to marry my girlfriend in the future very soon, Inn Sha Allah. I have convinced her to pray too.

Should I tell my girlfriend about the involvement with another girl or should I keep it a secret because she might leave me forever?

Thank you.

Question 2. Istikhara

I prayed Istikhara the first time and I don’t know if it’s connected but the person in question appeared twice in my dream

I’m the second dream, he sent me a text and he actually sent one that day

It’s meant to be an arranged marriage so we don’t really talk. I feel that my heart is inclined towards him.

Should I pray more for clearer signs?

Question 3. My mom always prays for the worst in me

assalamualaikum,

I’ve always had problems with my mom, she always said I done nothing for the family even though as an eldest child my whole childhood is about cleaning the house and babysit 4 of my siblings… She was never present since I was a child leading to a bad relationship and constant miscommunication (maybe). The worst thing I’m afraid of she always had been threatening me my whole life if I did something wrong, she said she is my mother so she can make a dua to Allah swt to send me to hell and also made my life miserable… recently she did make a dua in front of me asking to Allah to send me to hell and made my life miserable and also made a dua for me to had a child that will brutally disobey me. As all Muslim know our heaven is on our mother feet and mothers‘ dua is the most powerful, what should I do? Please help me.

I been having a really bad mental health since I was 13 which is where she started to stay at home since she took Phd. And life hasn’t changed since then she always been mentally physically emotionally abusing me, sometimes she wouldn’t let me eat on the table because I am too ugly, I am an average student so I wasn’t able to pursue medical courses in university and that made her even furious and compared me to every of her friends child, she also always mentioned all of my difficult times in life if I didn’t respond to her while arguing…she always said I’m going to hell because I can’t read Quran and accuse me to eat pork while I am at a primary Chinese school. She never taught me to perform salah and teach me Quran and don’t even send me to religious classes to learn.

And when I am adult, she kept making fun of me comparing me to my brother that can read Quran. This made me so depressed and confused because I was told by her that I was probably “changed” while in the hospital because I never look pretty and white as her. We never hugged, and never kissed like any other mother daughter relationships, it made me so confused. Once I tried to kill myself by sleeping with a knife hoping it will stab me in my sleep and once I took life-threatening pills in a huge amount but failed to made me die. Please help me, I’m in desperate time.

Jazakallah khair

Question 4.

Salam. I have been extremely blessed by Allah in my life, and I see his blessings in my work and in my family.

I had a haram relationship with a sister who was my age. I was in love with her and intended to marry her but her family refused. She was abusive and manipulative towards me and we eventually separated but the haram that I committed was done.

I asked for forgiveness from Allah but I fell into Zina again.

Before Ramadan came this year I cried and asked Allah for his forgiveness and that I will be a better Muslim going forward. During Ramadan, I struggled, but I came out feeling stronger and a better Muslim. Or so I thought.

Yesterday I was feeling so lonely and unhappy with myself that I became weak and did it again. I failed my pledge and I feel sick and afraid. I know that Allah is the most forgiving and the most merciful, but will he accept my repentance after my blatant disregard for him?

I’m going through a lot and I don’t know what to do. Please help me.

Question 5. Should I sacrifice my happiness for my family

Assalamualaikum

My father loves me and mostly fulfill my wishes but then why he molested me. I’m still confused what to do because at that day I feel like dying my mentality is not good now and I always think negative. I don’t like to face my father or talk to him what can I do to forget that things that my father did to me. He also hits me sometimes but I our family it’s not a big problem because everyone says it’s my fault, I did wrong things that’s why your father get angry and hit you in that way.

I’m so stressed by these things. I feel like I have to give up but then I remember my mom will cry so much if I die…and out of these things I wanna marry someone but he is sunni and I am shia. He doesn’t believe in sects and said that we will marry soon in 2 years maybe. He told his mom and dad about me. I talked to his mom and dad they are nice. I feel safe with that guy because he loves me and I love him too. He leaved our relationship for the sake of Allah.

It’s too hard for me to convince my family about him because my family is toxic except my mother but she also not gonna let me marry him because she is against intercaste marriage. What to do I don’t know…

I already suffered a lot and now I just want to get marry asap. I told Allah about what happened to me and also, I told him about that guy who I love. I mean I make dua every single day with tears. I heard somewhere Allah only let you make dua for that thing which he wants to give you…Please give me some solutions ma’am because I’m suffering a lot and nobody knows I got panic attacks and it’s hard to pretend like I’m happy when I’m not.

Question 6. Supporting your loved one in the future

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wabaraktahu,

I wanted ask a question regarding supporting the person you love in the future

She wants to become a doctor and complete her course in dentistry, and she wants to work so that the years she has spent in learning don’t go in vain, I told her I will support her to complete her studies and allow her to work which I will in Sha Allah. But the job she will do, she has to treat male patients too, which I don’t like, I don’t even like the thought in which she has to touch other men and treat them in order to cure them, I was against it, but for her happiness and the promise I made to her that I will support her I will help her and in Islam if we take a promise we have to fulfill it, so as people say love is tested at the time of sacrifice, I had sacrificed this for her happiness and my love for her. I would be really grateful if you would help me out and tell me about the decision, I took is it right or wrong. What should I do if not. All I want is her happiness, if she is happy, I am happy too, and I have to fulfill and stay on my promises according to Islam and I don’t break promises I make. So please help me out.

Question 7. Mother-in-Law

Salaaam, I have recently got married just 3 months ago. Since the marriage my husband didn’t want me to continue with my work and so he said just take a break for few months go back to it after, I agreed, recently I’ve been noticing my mother-in-law whom I live with is concerned about what I’m doing – how much I’ve slept how much I shower? What I have cooked for my husband if I am going out, she will stop and ask me 100 questions and say things like (is it important, do you have to see your friends and family? I need help cooking) even though I help before I go anywhere and keeps asking my other sister-in-law whom I live with to now,

Recently I overheard her saying things about me to my sister-in-law so I rang my husband while he was at work and told him. He’s reacted bad, came home and told her what she’s done she has completely denied the situation and I started crying but he knows I don’t lie. So yes, I don’t feel safe especially when she prays 5 times reads Quran and she’s able to lie just to make me look bad what shall I do??? My husband is just upset doesn’t eat and just sleeps hardly speaks to me now been 3 days.

I’m not speaking to her she makes me sick she’s manipulated everyone else in the house but me and my sister-in-law who’s married to her other son know how she’s like so what should I do? He won’t even move out with me he loves them to much I wouldn’t expect him to but my life’s ruined now should I consider a divorce or just keep busy and wait?

Question 8. Ex-husband who promised me to his 2nd wife

I’m a revert Muslim my ex-husband introduced me to Islam. We were married for 5 years blessed with a beautiful son. 5 years ago, he called me and divorced over the phone. I was shocked and devastated. He told me it was allowed in Islam to do that. I was so depressed and crying, thinking how will I raise my son alone.

We lost touch few months then he called again just to check up on us. Then the communication was open again but I don’t know what’s going on with his new life without me and our son. Took him 2 years to send support again. Alhamdulillah. Fast forward, 4 years after not seeing him, he finally decided to see us me and my son. He’s been telling the last 2 years not to get married and I should marry for the sake of Allah. I’ve never been married after he left me or take interest with other men as I was so broken. Finally when I met him, I was so happy and elated as my son also very excited to see him after 4 years. I have full of hope I said my dua to Allah, my Tahajjud prayers, my prayers during Ramadan paid off. Alhamdulillah I was beaming with hope and happiness that we will become a family again.

When we arrived, he told me he has already married for 3 years. And the new wife is a widow with a child same age as my son 7 years old. I burst into tears I was shaking and almost pass out. I feel so numb and dead. Days after I decided to stay as I see my son was so happy to be with his dad. I’m still in shocked. He is telling me I should agree to be his 2nd wife, so he is convincing me anyway where else should I go and we have a son.

I thought of it and few weeks I said okay with it. He gave me rules and this and what not. He acted as if he is my husband and we lived as a husband and wife. It was very unsettling feeling. But I trusted him well that’s what he told me to trust him with everything. Months past I’ve been asking when is the nikkah going to happen as I know we are not allowed to live as husband and wife before. Suddenly he told me there’s no more nikkah, as his wife did not allow him. My point is the new wife she was good position her son has a father growing up with the father of my son. While my son grew up for 4 years without a father. He was only 3 when left us. He’s raising another man’s child rather than raising his own son. I’m deeply heartbroken for my son and myself as a revert some more navigating Islam by myself and teaching my son to be a Muslim…Alhamdulillah Allah guide me throughout May Allah grant me ease. AMEEN.