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Father-in-Law Criticizes the Way I Treat My Baby

20 June, 2023
Q My father-in-law lives with us. We are from 2 different cultures but as a revert I try to do things more Islamically rather than cultural. Before having a baby, I was attentive to my father in laws need (food, laundry, tea ect) but after recently having baby my focus is the baby, I cook but no longer plate his food, since I’m “lacking in this” he treats me like I’m also lacking in taking care of my baby especially when he hears my baby cry. I’m slowly losing my patience, what can I do. He’s 67 years old, my husband thinks I’m being toxic when I bring up my thoughts.

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
20 June, 2023

If you have a baby to take care of, you will naturally have less time than before to attend to the needs of your father-in-law. This is something he has to understand.

Talk about this and assure him that it is not about a lack of love but rather a lack of time in this new situation.

Remind him where he and his wife had small kids. 

Comments and remarks from in-laws about your parenting are quite common. How can you deal with that without getting frustrated?

Check out the answer here.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.