Q Assalamualaikum, I am an ex-student waiting for my finals result to come up in couple of months. Hence, I just wonder what to do if you feel very "useless" and "strange" because I grew up living with these words from my friends and family.

I grew up being bullied for 6 years in my life and I haven't any close friends in my school days until now. I spent myself reading when I have nobody to talk to, and people often judge me by my actions. I feel inferior often.

Sometimes, I would catch myself crying afterwards. I knew if I try to ignore them with self-love, it would hurt me less. So, because I have more free time after my finals, I try to do new activities like drawing, learn mathematics and learning how to code just to prove that I'm not useless. However, they criticize me that I won't be a better in any of those activities I just did.

In fact, I want to lose weight to gain more self-confidence but my parents are unsupportive and didn't respect my choices to go on a diet because I was gaining so much weight because of stress. I feel insecure and useless. I felt like a burden and it's better if I'm not exist. I want to change my mindset but why I felt so beaten up with these words that are in the past. As if, it determined who I am…and I really appreciate if you could give me advice. Jazakallahu khairan kathira for listening.