My childhood consisted of school, Bible class, and interaction with a group of Christian friends.
It never occurred to me that my parents’ chosen religion might be in error.
I was extremely proud of my faith and stood up for it on a number of occasions.
When I became a teenager the focus at Bible class had changed, many of the teens were no longer searching for God, but seemed to seek approval from each other as a priority. They wanted to show off their talents of singing and dancing.
Faith in God didn’t seem to matter as much as whether or not you were talented. I kept attending, but by the time I left school, I was disillusioned.
At 18 years of age, I saw my first documentary on Islam. I was amazed by the fact that Muslims put so much importance on God, and placed Him first throughout all parts of their life.
Of course, this is how Christians supposedly are, but I seldom saw this. The fact that Muslims stopped whatever they were doing, to worship God five times a day, truly impressed me.
I started work and enjoyed the freedom of adulthood. Not feeling at home anymore at church, I slipped into a life of drinking, boys, and basically living my life with little regard to the consequences.
On the outside, I appeared to be a happy and carefree person, but inside I was hurt. I wasn’t being true to myself, I was living a lie. I realized that my life was truly empty.
Searching for the Truth
At 19 years of age, I met my soon-to-be husband. He was also putting on a false image which truly wasn’t him either, so together we left that lifestyle and started searching for our true selves.
I felt there was a vacuum in my life and soon realized that without God, my life held no direction or purpose. I returned to church after my marriage, but within a couple of years, I again felt no presence of God in my life. Therefore, I decided to search for God.
I took out every book on religion from the library, studying them all. The faiths that preached monotheism stood out from the others.
With Judaism, I could never understand their rejection of Jesus. They didn’t even see him as a prophet. I always saw them as blinded to the truth. At that time, Islam really seemed to have the answers for me, but I brushed it aside, as I thought that my doubts in Christianity were just a lack of faith.
I felt that the original church might hold the answers. I became a Catholic. Through the church, I received help to learn about the history of the church and its doctrines.
I was shocked to find that the Bible was put together more than 300 years after Christ. I also found out that they voted on whether or not Jesus was divine.
People made these decisions? People are imperfect, what if they were wrong? I was horrified! Why didn’t they tell me these things in Bible class at the Baptist Church? I tried to carry on with following Christianity, but I had great doubts.
I shoved them to the back of my mind, and told myself that I needed to have more faith. In time I was to learn more:
They take their priests and their anchorites to be their lords in derogation of Allah, and (they take as their Lord) Christ, the son of Mary; Yet they were commanded to worship but One God: There is no god but He. Praise and glory to Him: (Far is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him) (9:31)
9/11 was to prove a turning point for me. I was totally shocked by these attacks, and I was further shocked to read some truly negative comments by Australians regarding Islam. From my previous study, I realized they had drawn their opinions from those portrayed by the media and that they were in error. I was determined to learn as much as possible about Islam.
At this time, I didn’t even know any Muslims. I contacted Islam Australia’s website and inquired about learning more. Once I started to read and to watch some videos, finally met some Muslims, and asked a lot of questions, I realized Islam seemed to be an answer to my problems with Christianity.
Islam Has the Answers
I attended an Islamic class for women. The women were so friendly and kind, and there was no pressure put on me. During this time, there was an inner struggle taking place, but I had to confess that Islam truly did hold all the answers.
Nevertheless, my problem was that I was always taught that Islam had been sent by the devil to trick us into losing our salvation. Maybe I was being deceived! Then I read the article, “Attributing it to the Devil,” by Gary Miller, wherein he says:
“I had experience, on one occasion, describing some of the contents in the Quran to a man who did not know the book I was talking about. He sat next to me with the cover turned over. I just told him about the book, what it contained and told him it was not the Bible. His conclusion was, the book was miraculous. This man was a minister in a Christian Church. He said:
“Yes, that book could not possibly have originated with man, therefore it must come from the devil, because it’s not the Bible.”
The Quran comments on this suggestion in chapter twenty-six, verse two-hundred and eleven, as to those who would suggest that the book came from the devil. It points out that it does not quite suit him, does it? Is this how the devil misleads people? He tells them, worship none but God, he insists that they fast, that they practice charity. Is this how the devil misleads people?
Compare the attitude of someone like this, to the attitude of the Jews who knew Jesus and opposed him until the very end. There is an episode reported in the bible where Jesus raised a man from the dead, one Lazarus, who had been dead for four days. When Lazarus came out of the tomb, alive again those Jews who were watching, what did they do?
Did they suddenly say that this man is a true prophet and become believers? No, the Bible says they immediately discussed among themselves that “since this man is working on his signs soon everyone will believe in him. We’ve got to find a way to kill him,” and they attributed his miraculous powers to the devil. He raised that man by the power of the devil.
Now, the Christians who read that episode will feel very sorry for those Jews who had clear evidence right before their very eyes and attribute the miracles to the devil.
Does it not appear that they may be doing the same thing when we illustrate what we have in the Quran and their final excuse is only: “It originated with the devil.”
In the Quran we are told:
I read the Quran and wept. It seemed to answer my doubts, and I realized I was a believer. I had to be true to myself.