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Muslim Husband and Wife and Their Love Journey

Muslim Husband and Wife and Their Love Journey
A husband and wife are partners in life’s principled and weighty mission, which extends beyond the confines of this world into the realm of the Hereafter.

Part 1

A believer loves because of his faith, and because Allah, his Creator and Lord, loves, too.

When he loves certain people, articles and experiences, he loves them only because, and in the name, of Allah, in that they all exist only due to Allah’s grace and love. They are the objects of divine love. As a form of reciprocation, they love and are being loved by the All-Loving God. The entire process unfolds for Allah’s sake alone.

In an ideal scenario, furthermore, Muslim man and Muslim woman should not get married because they think they will then and thereby have achieved love.

Rather, they should get united as husband and wife believing that they have what it takes to continuously grow and build love throughout their lives until the end. They are to see each other as indispensable partners in pursuing and experiencing, both individually and collectively, the ultimate heavenly love, which is the only guarantee of all the legitimately successful forms of terrestrial love, including the coveted love between spouses.

A husband and wife are partners in life’s principled and weighty mission, which extends beyond the confines of this world into the realm of the Hereafter. That is why when Allah speaks about marriage and pair bonding of man and woman as the foundation of human society, He draws attention to the notions of living in tranquility as well as the existence of love and compassion between them. All the three components, anchored in strong faith, are essential for realizing life’s purpose and for attaining its mission.

Conventional one-dimensional perceptions of love alone, based on the conventional and equally one-dimensional man-woman relationship models, are by no means sufficient, nor fulfilling. In the said manner, marriage provides a physical, emotional and spiritual fulfillment without which the personality remains impeded and depressed.

Allah reminds in the Quran, for example:

Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe. A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind, that they may celebrate His praise (2: 221).

Finally, some types of love can be relatively fake and hypocritical. Similarly, they can be deluding and misleading, if man’s epistemological and spiritual understanding and evaluation of love is not right. Such counterfeit love types hinder and harm, rather than help. They lead to bitter regrets and ultimate feelings of guilt.

However, due to his strong innate loving quality, man could often, in the end, realize the real state of his affairs and turn to the real source of value and love, but by then, it could be too little too late.

Too inconsequential, vain and detrimental to man’s overall wellbeing and his long-term goals are some things that they simply do not deserve love’s and lovers’ attention, let alone love’s yield. Unquestionably, the possessors of true love (true lovers) easily distinguish between authentic and fake either worldly or ontological love.

Allah warns in the Quran:

Say, if your fathers, and your sons, and your brethren, and your wives, and your kinsfolk, and the wealth you have acquired, and the trade whose dullness you fear, and the dwellings which you love are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah comes with His judgment; and Allah guides not the disobedient people (9: 24).

Also:

Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah as equal (with Allah); they love them as they should love Allah. But those who believe are overflowing in their love for Allah… (2: 165).


About Dr. Spahic Omer

Dr. Spahic Omer, a Bosnian currently residing in Malaysia, is an Associate Professor at the Kulliyyah of Islamic Revealed Knowledge and Human Sciences, International Islamic University Malaysia.He studied in Bosnia, Egypt and Malaysia. He obtained his PhD in 2000 from the University of Malaya in the field of Islamic history and civilization.His research interests cover Islamic history, culture and civilization, as well as the history and theory of Islamic built environment. In 2003, his book "Studies in Islamic Built Environment" won IIUM's Isma'il al-Faruqi Best Publication Award, and in 2015, his book "Architecture and Society" won Malaysian National Book Award (Anugerah Buku Negara).He can be reached at spahico@yahoo.com; his website is medinanet.org.

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