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Xmas Challenges US Muslim Families

DALLAS – Twinkling lights set the night aglow. Ornament-strewn Christmas trees peek through most homes’ windows, greeting folks as they pass by. Santa Claus and his elves wave to shoppers as they stroll through malls collecting secret gifts to stow in hidden places until they make their December 25th debut.

To any child with a sense of wonder and a want for the year’s latest and greatest electronic gadget or a simple baby doll, the annual Christmas holiday is not only a time of beauty but a season of celebration and anticipation of presents to open. Such a scene would be any child’s dream, and Muslim children living in the United States are not immune to the magic.

So just how do Muslim parents, many of them immigrants with no childhood memories of Christmas celebrations and traditions, deal with the unrelenting pressure of the holiday season and how do they explain to their children that there won’t be any presents for them under the tree, nor will there be a tree at all?

Many say it’s difficult, and one of the most challenging aspects of living in America.

“It’s hard,” Waheba Guellili, who recently moved to the United States from Algeria with her husband and three young children, told OnIslam.net.

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“Last week most of the families (in my children’s school) gave a Christmas gift to the teachers, but I did not do that and I have explained this very well to my children. However, I am planning to give the teachers a gift in the future.”

Samira Dougram, a mother of two who has lived in the United States for more than 13 years after emigrating from Casablanca, Morocco, takes the holiday season in stride and doesn’t make more of it than as a time to exchange gifts.

In fact, she said she hangs Christmas stockings in her home and purchases presents for her children each year, adding that participating in the holiday is just a normal part of living in America and no more than a fun activity for children.

“They’re just kids,” Dougram said. “They just like getting the presents, and I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

She added that her Palestinian husband does not protest her Christmas festivities, but she admits the couple stops short of buying presents for each other, instead they limit the gift giving to the children.

However, she may well be in the minority among her fellow Muslims when it comes to her lax attitude regarding Christmas.

Pressures

Many American Muslims say they do not celebrate the holiday, but the pressure of it is stressful, particularly as it is all consuming and not easy to escape.

Everywhere you turn there are signs of the time with many homes decked top to bottom in seasonal lights or with blowup Santas and reindeer dolls perched in front doors. And of course, even a simple trip to the mall will find Muslim families bombarded with seasonal sales and tempting holiday displays.

Saoud Elfarasaoui, who has lived in the United States for three years and, like Dougram, is from Morocco, said when it comes to handling the holidays with her children, it’s important to strike a balance between what happens at school and what happens at home.

“It’s really difficult because at school (the children) are asked to buy gifts so we will buy gifts for the teacher, but at home we don’t celebrate Christmas,” she said.

“I don’t go to the party like some of the other parents but I don’t tell my children they can’t go. In that situation we’re a little stuck because it’s school, but at home it’s our culture (that is honored).”

As for the piles of presents many children receive at this time of year, Elfarasaoui said she is not worried about her kids feeling jealous.

“I can buy toys for my children at any time,” she said.

However, one thing Elfarasaoui does not take part in is the myth of Santa Claus and his annual gift-giving trip around the world on Christmas Eve night.

She said she was forced to explain to her three children that there was no Santa Claus when her oldest son Mehdi, 7, began asking if St. Nick would be dropping off gifts on the family’s doorstep.

Elfarasaoui said she told her son that Santa Claus was merely a fictional character and that it was, in fact, parents who placed presents under the tree each year. She said her son found it sad that parents would lie to their children about Santa’s existence.

“He didn’t think it was good for parents to lie to their children,” she said.

“We teach our children to see the truth all the time so I had to explain to him that (Santa) is just a story parents tell to keep the tradition going.”

Overall, Elfarasaoui said her children understand that they are Muslim and do not participate in Christmas festivities.

She said being open with them has allowed them to accept it and not feel bad about missing out on Christmas cheer and all of the fun that goes along with it.

“We are Muslim and my children don’t have any problems,” she said.

 

Editor’s Note: This article was first published in December 2014.