LONDON – An American Muslim author has penned the first ever halal sex manual for women, after being asked by a newlywed acquaintance to share some tips to young Muslim wives.
“I put an emphasis on having sex only with your spouse, but having the full range of sexual experiences with that spouse,” the US-born Muslim writer, who goes by pen name Umm Muladhat told The Observer on Sunday, July 16.
“Islamically, there’s an emphasis on enjoying physical relationships within the context of marriage, not just for procreation. It is the wife’s right that her husband satisfy her sexually.”
Umm Muladhat wrote The Muslimah Sex Manual: A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, which was released last week.
The book was inspired by a newlywed acquaintance who asked her to share some tips as she had no idea what to do with her husband in bed.
“Her sex life was horrible. In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahram’s hand, let alone become physically intimate with one,” Umm explained on her website.
“She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulging in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah.”
“She didn’t know what he liked. She didn’t even know what she liked,” Umm explained.
So Umm wrote down all the knowledge she’d gained from 30 years of marriage, chats with friends and magazine articles.
Meeting the girl a month later, the happy wife begged her to share her knowledge on the taboo issue.
“Please, write this down and share it with other Muslim girls,” she told her. “No one teaches this. We’re thrown into marriage and only know the fiqh and the biology.”
“I wrote down everything I told her on a Word document and emailed it to her. She shared it with her friends who were newly married,” she explained.
“They shared it with their friends. Before long, word trickled back to me that people were asking me to write a book on the subject.”
For Umm, the guide came to help many Muslim women who are confused about what sexual acts are permissible in Islam, and the misconception that females shouldn’t enjoy sex.
“Guilt associated with sex is drummed into women from childhood,” she explained. “It’s portrayed as something dirty where women’s sexuality is often controlled.”
As a result, women end up going into marriages without the confidence to say what they want or to speak up when they don’t enjoy something.