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On Spirituality and Nearness to Allah (Q & A Session)

Dina Mohamed Basiony
16 January, 2017

Asalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters, 

Are you doing everything Islam requires but still can’t feel the connection with Allah? Are you feeling far from Allah because you are stressed by life? Wanting that Ramadan kind of feeling in a Rabi` Al-Thani kind of month?

Have all your questions on spirituality and drawing nearer to Allah answered in our next Live Session with Ask Islam counselor and Spirituality Editor at Productivemuslim.com, Dina Mohamed Basiony. 

Join us Thursday, Jan. 19 from 10 PM – 12 AM in Makkah (7 -9 PM GMT) (9 -11 PM in Cairo) ( 2-4 PM in New York).

Can’t make it to the Live Session? Don’t worry. You can email your questions in ahead of time to [email protected]

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Thursday, Jan. 19, 2017 | 22:00 - 23:59 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

I am just wondering, how can someone connect with a being they don’t even know, that is not even like them as humans?



Thank you so much for this question; very happy to receive it. I have answered this question in the article below; I’d really appreciate if you can take a look at it so that you can get a fuller picture and more comprehensive answer for your great question.

The article reads:

Your question is actually great because you already acknowledge that the Creator Allah Almighty is like nothing of His creation. Like He said in the Qur’an:

{[He is] Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has made for you from yourselves, mates, and among the cattle, mates; He multiplies you thereby. There is nothing like unto Him, and He is the Hearing, the Seeing.} (Qur’an 42: 11)

Then how do we connect with Him? Let us think about examples together.

Do you know the iPhones? Who is most knowing of how to use an iPhone and what are its features and every single detail in it? Steve Jobs, because he created it. He knows every single detail in it.

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He is the most knowing of it, even though he is not an iPhone himself. He is not in a metal rectangle form; he doesn’t have a charger or a battery or any of that. But he is most knowing of that which he has created, right?

This is exactly what the Creator Allah Almighty said in the Qur’an:

{Does He who created not know, while He is the Subtle, the Acquainted?} (Qur’an 67: 14)

Indicating that He is most knowing of us and of even the most subtle details of those whom He created and He is fully acquainted with them.

And He says: 

{Vision perceives Him not, but He perceives [all] vision; and He is the Subtle, the Acquainted.} (Qur’an 6: 103)

Then how do we communicate with Him?

How do you usually communicate with someone? You listen to them and you speak to them, right?

Well, He has given us His Verbatim and Direct Words (The Qur’an); in it He told us who He is, why did He bring us here, what our purpose in life is, how to gain peace, how to be successful, how to get the best reward and satisfaction in this life and in afterlife for eternity …

Continue reading at the link here: Why can’t we see God

Recommended additional resource:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifllgTA2pmY  

Most of the time, I feel like I am "doing" Islam on my own. (I am a male in my teenage years.) I only became practicing a year and some months ago (as inspired by my sister, but who has now become away from Islam), and I do not have anyone to talk to about deen, problems in my life, or questions about Islam in general. No one in my household is someone I can speak with personally. Alhumdulilah, I have friends who I can see love Islam, like me, but I am a more emotional person, and I cannot speak to women (although they are usually more emotional) and I do not have strong relationships with my brothers (Islamic men in general, On a personal level). Do you think that I can practice this on my own and simply rely on Allah, and is this detrimental to my spirituality? If so, what should I do?



Walaykum Asalam wa RahamatuAllah our brother,

We are very pleased to receive your question and what you said is very admirable. May Allah Almighty the All-Powerful, The Controller of Hearts strengthen your heart upon His deen, and keep you steadfast and open all doors of knowledge and wisdom for you. Ameen.

Now, you can definitely rely on Allah Almighty. Actually, no one can progress in this path without the Help of Allah Himself. We tell Him 17 times every day in prayer {It is You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for Help.} (Qur’an 1: 5)

This is something Allah is teaching us because our neediness to Him in itself is one of the ultimate goals of spirituality. Knowing that Allah is Our Helper, The Protecting Friend, The Closest One to us … all of this is part of iman and tawheed (faith and pure monotheism). So, maybe you are in this specific situation because Allah, The All-Wise, is teaching you to rely on Him. And when you do, then your faith and connection with Him will strengthen, and this is part of your path.

Having said that, we encourage you to ask Allah to grant you the means to remain steadfast. Yes, we should rely on Allah and have alone time with Him. But He also taught us that in this path, we need to also remember that being with good companions is key to remaining upright and overcoming challenges and temptations of the worldly life.

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Like He told us in Surat Al Kahf

{And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.} (Qur’an 18: 28)

You can read this answer we detailed earlier on the means to remain steadfast.

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/5-tips-remain-steadfast/

If you are on your own, you might get tired, or you might become easy prey to evil whispers, temptations, etc. But when you are among righteous friends, they will remind you of the deen and you may compete in doing righteous acts.

So, make dua to Allah to open your heart to righteous companions and help you find them. I personally testify that with dua, Allah opens doors and guides you to the right people and guides them to you. His Name is The Guide (Al Hady), right?

So, make dua and try to take the means to be among good community of believers. For example, you can try to look for them in the mosque or the gatherings of learning Qur’an, seerah (biography of the Prophet), etc.

Also, remember that it is important to continue seeking knowledge of the deen, whether online or offline. This path needs knowledge and we have an ocean of knowledge in Islam; the more we know, the more we grow and crave for more.

So, try to seek knowledge. Find a good teacher(s) whether somewhere nearby, or online if there is nothing around where you live. There are great online Islamic initiatives that teach Qur’an, seerah, and the sciences of the deen beautifully and can teach you and help you engage with like-minded people.

You don’t have to be with them 100% of the time, but you definitely need to be among good company of teachers and righteous people who’re walking on your same path so that you can strengthen one another and help one another when you fall.

Remember, our religion is about the Ummah (the Muslim global community), unity, solidarity, and being one body. So, isolation cannot be the lifestyle for long.

Start looking for mosques with a good community. Start looking for gatherings of knowledge. Look online as well if you can’t find something nearby—and put your trust in Allah, and He will most definitely open doors. Allah is The Opener (Al Fattah) and at the right time, He will grant you what helps you perfectly.

Please continue to contact us if you need more specific recommendations on online initiatives that have good learning options and good communities of friends for you. 

All the Best, 

Salam. 

I have been through a lot in my life. A lot of people have hurt me. And I feel like I am very bitter, and it takes me away from nearness to Allah. How do I overcome this bitterness?



Peace be upon you sister,

We ask Allah to descend His peace and mercy and relief upon your heart and to remove any bitterness. On this occasion, we need to remember that the situation you’re in has been experienced by noble Prophets as well.

Remember that the noble Prophet Joseph (peace be upon him) was deeply hurt by the closest people to him. He was plotted against by his own brothers. They wanted to kill him while he was a helpless little child.

They threw him in a well. They separated him from his merciful father until his father became blind out of sadness for the loss of his child.

Then Joseph was sold as a slave. Then he was attacked by the wife of his master. Then he was thrown unjustly in prison for something he had not done … all of this and more happened to him. And Allah spoke of his story in the Qur’an:

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{We relate to you, [O Muhammad], the best of stories in what We have revealed to you of this Qur’an although you were, before it, among the unaware.} (Qur’an 12: 3)

Can you imagine, sister, that Allah called this the best of stories? But do you know why? Because true faith and nearness to Allah don’t necessarily happen when we’re comfortable with no troubles whatsoever.

But it is when we continue to have faith in Allah and good expectations of Him and hope in Him despite everything that is happening- this is true faith and dedicated pursuit of His nearness.

Joseph said, after everything that happened to him:

{Allah has certainly favored us. Indeed, he who fears Allah and is patient, then indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.} (Qur’an 12: 90)

And Allah indeed rewarded his patience. He made him a king, gave him authority, and gave him the upper hand over his brothers who hurt him.

So, the patience he had proved his beautiful, sincere faith. He was rewarded in this life eventually, and he will also be rewarded without account in the afterlife.

So, insha’Allah remember the example of Prophet Joseph and know that Allah will always be with those who are patient and will not waste their reward.

Additional resources:

Why do bad things happen to good people

I hope this helps. Walaikum Asalam.

I have a hard time focusing on my salah and don't feel connected to Allah, but instead I am thinking about what tasks I have to complete or something someone said, and so on. What is the number one best thing to do to feel a connection with Allah during salah?



Asalamu Alaikum Tahara,

Great question. May Allah reward you and help you achieve your goal in a way that pleases Him. Salah (prayer) is the number one most important task that would determine our position on the Day of Judgment.

So here are a few tips:

1- Seek the help of Allah Himself. Remember that in each and every single prayer we actually tell Allah in Surat Al Fatiha {It is You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help} (Qur’an 1: 5). So, focus on that and ask Allah sincerely for His help and He will surely help you. That is the number one thing to do. But there is more that you can do. 

2- Remember this hadith before every prayer, and that prayer is essential to your success on the Day of Judgment. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

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The first of man’s deeds for which he will be called to account on the Day of Resurrection will be Salah (prayer). If it is found to be perfect, he will be safe and successful; but if it is incomplete, he will be unfortunate and a loser. If any shortcoming is found in the obligatory Salah, the Glorious and Exalted Rubb [Lord] will command to see whether His slave has offered any voluntary Salah so that the obligatory Salah may be made up by it. Then the rest of his actions will be treated in the same manner. (At- Tirmidhi).

3- With this in mind, pray sunnah prayers so that they make up for the shortcomings in the obligatory prayers.

4- Do istighfar (repentance) after each obligatory prayer to show sincerity to Allah and acknowledgment that our prayers don’t match His Greatness and what He deserves.

5- Try to know more about Allah Himself and His Names and Attributes so that when you’re standing between His Hands in prayer, you know who you’re speaking to.

6- Try to read/watch tafseer (exegesis) of the Qur’an because that’s very powerful. The more you know the meaning of what you’re reciting, the more you’ll be able to concentrate. 

7- You can say the dua between takbir and recitation of Qur’an that is at the link here: Sahih Al Bukhari.

8- In all cases, try to concentrate as much as possible, and whenever Shaitan (Satan) or your nafs (the self) distract you by dunya (worldly affairs), then simply get back to concentration and struggle against those whispers. They don’t necessarily have to beat you or take your concentration completely away. 

As long as you’re sincerely trying and taking steps, then you’re on the right path and Allah will accept your efforts from you. He is The Appreciative (As-Shakoor), who appreciates all efforts His slaves do for His Sake.

Additional Resources:

http://productivemuslim.com/your-jannah-todo-list/

https://aboutislam.net/multimedia/videos/concentration-salah-hard/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1lxQ-9K6eU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p34kdsJOCE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p34kdsJOCE  

I hope this helps. Walaikum Asalam.

Aasalamu Alaikum, When I am with my friends, who are into having fun and doing pranks and things like that, I feel nervous. Could this feeling be because I feel far from Allah when they are doing some things that are questionable? Do you think maybe nervousness could be feeling far from Allah, and how do you think I can feel less nervous when I am with my friends?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you so much for this question. You’re feeling nervous because Allah Almighty has placed inside us the fitrah (pure God-given nature) that already knows what’s right and what’s wrong; it feels peace when we do something right, and it feels discomfort when we do something wrong.

{And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness, He has succeeded who purifies it, And he has failed who instills it [with corruption].} (Qur’an 91: 7-10)

It seems you’re feeling nervous because you feel what your friends are doing is wrong. Having fun and laughing, are good things, but should never be at the expense of someone else’s misery, embarrassment, or discomfort. Allah says:

{O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.} (Qur’an 49: 11)

We don’t think you’re far away from Allah; on the contrary, it seems you’re close to righteousness and wanting to do what pleases Him and to follow the pure, righteous way of life.

So, we advise you to seek righteous friends who would aid you in doing that.

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Please read this answer on the danger of having bad friends and the urgency of having good ones for one’s spiritual path: https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/friends-really-damaging-iman/

If your friends are good and righteous and they just occasionally do those violations, then try advising them. Do not engage with them in the wrong they’re doing, and explain to them why it’s wrong; send them articles/videos/resources that explain to them why something is wrong.  

You can also make a lot of dua for them. Dua usually brings people nearer to Allah Almighty. So make dua for you and them. While with those friends, instead of engaging in what is wrong, you can make dhikr (remember Allah).

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

The likeness of one who remembers his Rubb [Lord] and one who does not remember Him, is like that of the living and the dead. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch. 

Walaikum Asalam.