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Ramadan & Family – Counseling Live Session

Aisha Mohammad
07 June, 2016

 

Please scroll down to read the questions along with its answers.

 

Thursday, Jun. 09, 2016 | 07:00 - 09:00 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

Is it okay for kids to see their parents kissing and hugging? I thought it's good for them to see how much their parents love each other but my Mom says it's wrong, and that the kids will try to imitate what they see.



As-salamu alaykum,
Acts of affection between parents (such as a kiss, holding hands, hugging) demonstrates affection, love and respect between parents. It also teaches children that marriage is one of kindness and closeness. Children feel more secure when they see their parents close and sharing loving moments. It also teaches them how one should be with their spouse. However, intimacy which goes beyond a casual kiss, hug or hand hold should be avoided. By this I mean, any kissing that is erotic or leads to sexual desire should be avoided in front of children, as children are quick to pick up on the parents emotions and these intimate sexual emotions should be for behind closed doors. I hope this helps!

Dear counselor, every year during Ramadan, I go through a very hard time while menstruating. I can't pray or recite Qur'an while all Muslims do seek Allah's forgiveness in such blessed days. I feel great loss and deprivation during menses, especially when it comes at the end of the month while we are waiting for Laylatul Qadr and I don't know how to overcome this. Any advice?



As-salamu alaykum dear sister,
Yes, this is a common problem, and as women, we often feel a loss. However, Allah SWT in His mercy lets us make up the days we missed. While that does not ease the loss we feel during the very blessed month, we are able to gain joy and satisfaction in doing works of charity, helping others, giving, preparing meals and feeding others , and being of service to the needy. Insha’Allah sister, try to focus on your service to Allah and those around you during your menses. Your acts of loving charity will carry great weight insha’Allah. I hope this helps sister, Ramadan Mubarak!

Asalamu alaikum, I am a mom of 3 (ages 11, 8, 5). Their school mates always ask them about Ramadan and fasting that sometimes they can't answer properly.How can I explain the true meaning of fasting to them and make them confident about their religion and rituals? And should I encourage them (11 years and 8 years ) to fast or this is too early? R



As-salamu alaykum sister,

I am not an Islamic Scholar however I would suggest that insha’Allah you teach your children the beautiful obligation and blessings of Ramadan in a way that is comprehensive, yet in a way that they can understand and reiterate to their schoolmates. Perhaps you can ask them what are the most frequent questions they are asked, and go over simple answers which they can readily respond with. Have them practice with you. Ask the some questions and listen to their responses as if it were a role play. Also, if they are asked a question that is too in depth for them, it is okay for them to say they do not have the answer but they will ask and give them the answer tomorrow. This is also a great way to teach your children the preparations and benefits of giving dawah. Regarding fasting, while the usual age for fasting is when a child reaches puberty, but if the younger ones want to try fasting alhumdulillah let them try! It is a blessing.

Asalamu Alikum, I'm a working woman living in the UK. Ramadan is a real challenge for me. I find it very difficult to achieve all my tasks at work while fasting, especially that the nature of my work involves meeting with many people and I should maintain a good spirit and a smiling face all day long even with the tiredness of fasting. I'm the only Muslim in the office and I wish I could enjoy a little bit of flexibility during Ramadan to make it easier for me, but I'm not sure if I should talk to my boss or colleagues about that.



As-salamu alaykum sister,
Working and fasting can be a challenge, especially when we must meet with others and be alert, cheerful and appear not fatigued. Often as our bodies adjust to the fasting, we can get energized as our body adjusts to the new schedule of fasting in the day and nourishment at night and before fajr. Try to eat protein and carb rich foods to get you through the day as well as rinse your face with cool fresh water periodically to refresh yourself in the day. As your boss and coworkers know you’re Muslim, it wouldn’t hurt to let them know you are fasting. I am not sure of your relationship with them, however if they are supportive they will be more understanding. It is best though to not let our fasting have a negative effect on our work, though it is sometimes hard! Give your body a few days to adjust sister, and make duaa to Allah to grant you ease during this most blessed month. Remember you are not alone in this work-fasting dilemma, and all too soon, Ramadan will be over so fast and we will miss it!