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Hajj and Other Issues: (Live Fatwa)

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
22 August, 2016

Dear Brothers/Sisters,

Thank you very much for joining us in this Live Fatwa session. We would like also to thank our guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers of your questions below.

Saturday, Aug. 27, 2016 | 18:00 - 20:00 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

As-salamu alaikum. My children study anatomy at school. They show there pictures of intimate organs. Is it ok for them to attend such lessons and to watch these pictures for the sake of education?



If this is an integral part of their preparation for medical school, it is not objectionable. Otherwise, you can ask if they can skip attending the class on religious grounds.

 

See how you can approach this issue by consulting the religious leaders in your community. Perhaps you should have a free and frank discussion with the teacher if you are talking about regular school.

 

As for preparation for admission into medical school, such exposure may be deemed necessary, and therefore it is allowed under the rule of necessity.

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It is important for a physician at the training level to have sound knowledge of such important body parts to know how to treat ailments affecting them.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

Asalamualaikum Brothers. In the beginning years of our marriage we both were casual towards adherence to Islamic obligations. Alhamdulillah, after few years I started to take the practicing of Islam seriously and adhering to its teaching as much as possible and still trying to do as much as possible. However, my wife is still casual about certain things. She prays regularly Alhamdulillah but sometimes misses Fajr Salah. Does proper hijab but in certain occasions misses it, she watches TV and movies. Overall not much into the deen. Character and manners wise she is very good. Meanwhile I am leaning more towards religion and this is causing drift between us. She says that she will also follow it rigorously once she gets hidaya like me. If I push her a lot, there are arguments and issues. What does Shari`ah say about this? Even after my regular insistence if she is still lenient in few aspects will I be held responsible and will be sinned. I made her clear that I will not tolerate leniency for salah and hijab and other things may Allah gives her hidaya. Is my approach correct? We have a kid.



If your wife is observant of prayers and basic rules of modesty, then you should not be overly critical of her. Instead of acting as her judge on her piety, you may do well to be persuasive and let your gentleness move her towards greater religiosity.

 

After all, you should know that Allah is the judge; and He alone can judge what is in our hearts; His judgment is based more on our intentions and what we cherish in our hearts rather than on our outward observances and rituals alone.

 

You may do well to heed the wisdom of Allah sending His chosen Messenger Musa and ordering him to speak to Pharaoh, the tyrant, gently. If this is the way to approach a tyrant, then your wife deserves better treatment from you. After all, she is a believer, albeit a little slack in some of her observances.

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Finally, never stop praying to Allah in the manner He wants us to:

 

Rabbanaa hab lanaa min azwaajinaa wa dhurriyyaathinaa qurratha a’yunin waj’alnaa lil al-muttaqeena imaaman

 

(Our Lord, grant us joy in our spouses and children and make us role models for those who are mindful). (Al-Furqan 25:74)

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

As-salamu alaikum. My sister got married to her best friend's ex-husband. Since then she is hated by that woman, she curses and swears her. My sister asked her to forgive her, but she doesn't agree. She expects her to divorce her husband. What should she do?



If your sister did not lure her friend’s ex-husband nor seduced him; rather he left her on his free will without any fault of your sister, and she married him after his divorce, then that woman is irrational and unjust. Your sister is not to be blamed; if she could not live with him, it is not your sister’s fault.

 

If your sister did no wrong, she does not need to brood over this issue. She should only leave her alone and ignore her.

 

By failing to do that, your sister is letting her friend control her life. It will only increase her agony. And she will never be able to enjoy peace with that kind of attitude.

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Allah Almighty knows best.

As-salamu alaikoum. 15 years ago my husband was seriously injured. He doesn't feel his legs. All these years I took care of him. But now I feel I need normal life, and sexual life too, which my ill husband can't provide. But I feel it's not human to divorce him and leave him alone, and zina is haram. What should I do?



If you are unable to guard yourself against falling into sins because of uncontrollable sex drive, then you may consider divorcing him while ensuring that he is otherwise cared for – either through paid agencies or his family members, etc.

 

Islam does not allow you to be married to two men at the same time.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

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As-salamo alaykom. I have a question: when you buy a house of course through the bank and before you step in and live in it do we have to anything like slaughter sheep or give money or nothing? Jazakom Allah khayran.



There is absolutely no basis for stipulating a condition that a person should perform a particular ritual such as the sacrifice of a sheep or goat or charity before occupying your new house.

 

However, you may do well to read Surat Al-Baqarah and offer two rak’ahs; if you wish to give some charity or feed the poor that would be optional acts of virtue.

 

A house is either a Devils’ den or tranquil place where angels descend with peace. We have the choice of inviting angels or demons into our homes by our lifestyle.

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The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If a person were to invoke the name of Allah while eating and drinking, and before retiring to bed and upon rising from bed, the devil will say to his troops: he has left you with no food or bed!”

 

So keep the devils out by celebrating the remembrance of Allah and being consistent with it. I pray to Allah to bless your house.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

I'm a 32 adult unmarried lady. Still being at this age, do I need permission from my parents to make every little move to go outside from meeting somebody interested in marriage, to go to bank or having any beauty or medical treatment? Am I not old enough to decide what is right and wrong and don't I have right to privacy? If I have right to spend my money the way, I want why I ask them, why I can't go where I want!



You don’t need to wait for your parents’ permission to go out for work or important matters such as meeting someone in a clean environment or shopping or banking or other important personal issues.

 

Parents have no right to restrict your movements; their right over you is limited to help protect your honor and dignity. As long your travel is not involving long distances where there are valid reasons for your safety and security they have no right to object to your free movement.

 

I think the challenges you are facing from your parents are more to do with cultural issues rather than due to sound religious teachings.

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Many people today confuse culture with religion. Religion is a set of spiritual and ethical norms meant for all times and cultures; whereas culture and customs are time bound and hence alterable.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

As-salamu alaikum. I am a 22-year-old Pakistani Muslim male trying to marry a religious Jordanian girl I met at my university. My parents were against it at first because of the culture issue, but they came around. But then my parents kept showing up late to the family meetings, which is very disrespectful in Jordanian culture, and her whole family wasn't there for the meetings which is disrespectful in Pakistani culture. Because of this small thing, both families have been insulted, and something was said by both of our moms. The thing is her parents really liked me and are still okay with me marrying her, but my parents say they will disown me if I marry her and are insisting her parents don't want this to happen, even though I talked to her mom and she said that's not the case. My parents are also guilt tripping me by saying we raised you and did everything for you and that you're going against Allah if you marry her against our orders, and they're threatening to disown me as well. My parents would be in the wrong if they disown me, and I have the right to marry who I want to: right? There is no reason this marriage cannot work because alhamdulillah we are both religious and have good character and want to get closer to Allah as well, and my parents are focusing on the culture difference, and small issues that have insulted both families. Since my parents can't force me to marry someone, if I proceed to marry her, will I be a sinner? I have tried my best to do all the right things and my parents just aren't supporting me, and I really want to marry her.



If the objections raised by your parents have nothing to do with religious or ethical issues, and the person you have chosen is of sound faith and character, then you are allowed to marry her – even if they object to it.

 

However, if you do this, you still ought to keep good relations with your parents.

 

Perhaps you may do well to have a free and frank discussion with them and try to see if you can dispel their anxieties or issues with this marriage.

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If you cannot do this by yourself, perhaps you should engage a knowledgeable Imam or a wise person who is respected in the community to convince them to change their mind favorably towards your choice.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

Salaam alaykum. I keep making oaths that if I marry my fiancé, then I don’t mean it and my marriage isn’t valid. Or I make an oath that if I do something, like a sin e.g. lie or shirk, then I don’t mean it when I say yes to marriage and my marriage isn’t valid. I have been feeling really depressed because of this. I want to know: does this mean I can’t marry my fiancé. Please, help me as I want to marry him and I am worried my marriage will not count. Please, help me. Thank you.



I think you need to speak to a counselor. Your issues are not matters of religious ruling. Rather, they are related to some emotional and mental challenges you are facing.

 

Therefore, before you think of marriage, you need to speak to your family physician about this; and he or she would refer you to a specialist in counseling and therapy.

 

I pray to Allah to help you overcome your challenges.

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Allah Almighty knows best.

As-slamu alaikum. I am very confused and upset. My husband is making me choose between him and my 19-year-old son who is from my first marriage. I have 3 younger children with my 2nd husband and even though we have all tried to live together since I got married second time over 12 years ago my husband is now making it more difficult. He has always been very verbally abusive and only supported us financially for the first few years of the marriage. I can't leave my son because his own father was physically abusive and left us when my son was only 1 years old. He hasn't seen my son for the last 15 years. I am very confused; I love my husband very much and I always have prayed for him that Allah puts love in his heart for us all but he is not kind to my son at all and has always made life difficult for him. Now I have to make a decision for either my son or my husband. Please, advise me. I made isthikara du`a’ many years ago and the only sign I received was a dream in which I saw our house had sunk and broken into the ground like in an earthquake. I never knew what this means.



I can only empathize with your situation and pray for you. Other than that, the best advice I can give you is to speak to an imam or wise leader in the community to counsel both of you; he may be able to guide you to sort out your differences and thus save your marriage.

 

The other option might be if your son who is 19 can find another place to stay (a family member or friends you can trust) under your watchful eyes. He is already an adult person, and so he should be able to care for himself with some outside help. That would be a better option than putting the future of younger children also in danger.

 

Having said this, I would also advise you to continue to pray to Allah unceasingly to open doors for you and help you find an amicable solution and thus find peace and comfort.

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I pray to Allah to bless you in your efforts to seek a peaceful way of reconciliation without losing your children.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

I have a friend studying in Russia; in their schedule there are two lecture at the same time of Jum`ah prayer. He cannot change the time of these lectures. What should he do?



Jumu`ah is one of the greatest symbols of Islam; its attendance is obligatory on every adult free Muslim, who is healthy and not traveling.

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever neglects three consecutive Jumu`ah deliberately, Allah might place a seal on his heart!”

 

The state of sealing is a depravity and a sign of Allah’s abandoning a person; so, no Muslim could take failure to attend the Jumu`ah lightly.

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Therefore, you ought to make every effort to attend Jumu`ah as best as you can.

 

You can have a free and frank discussion with your professor to allow you to attend the Jumu`ah. If he cannot permit you every week, at least you should convince him to let you attend once in every three weeks.

 

In the university you are attending is like the North American universities, I don’t see any problem if you fail to show up on Fridays at least occasionally.

 

If the policy in Russia is different, then can you consider opting for courses offered in other days?

 

Once you have explored all viable options, and still you are left with no choice, then perhaps you might be excused. You should seek forgiveness of Allah and compensate for it by doing whatever good deeds you can afford on top of praying Dhuhr Salah and optional prayers.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.