I'm currently in a haram relationship, and I know that this is wrong. I'm trying to soon break it off with him but I’m really scared as he genuinely loves me and he’s a non-Muslim so he doesn’t understand that I just can’t marry him, if I break up with him, he will fall back into depression and I do not want that. I’m also very scared that his mother will want to speak to my parents about it and my parents don’t know about all this so this could destroy me. If I pray and make dua to help Allah make it easy for me to break up with him and to lead me into the straight path, will He listen to my duas and accept my salary because although I’m asking him for help, I’m still in this haram relationship doing haram things. I just don’t know what to do and if it’s worthwhile me praying even when I’m continuing doing these haram things, but I just need Him to help me guide me to the right path.
As-salaamu alaykum sister,
Shokran for writing to our live session. As I understand it, you’re currently in a haram relationship. You stated you know this is wrong and that you were going to try to break it off. You’re mentioned that you feel scared because he genuinely loves you. You also acknowledged that you can’t marry him as he is not Muslim. Based on what you have said, it seems you do have insight into this situation. From your question, I see that you are afraid to break up with him as he may fall back into depression and you don’t want that.
Sister the thing that really stands out to me is that you are engaging in a haram relationship which is compromising your relationship with Allah. Your Muslim, he’s not. Therefore, my dear sister, you know you can’t marry him because he’s not Muslim. So why would you even want to go there? You state that you pray and make duaa to Allah to make it easy for you to break up with him and to lead you to the straight path again. This shows that you love Allah and seek to please him alhumdulilah. Please do ask Allah to forgive you for your haram behaviors, repent, and promise yourself that you will not have anything more to do with this boy. May Allah swt make it easy for you.
Regarding him falling back into depression sister, this is not your responsibility nor your burden to carry. Yes, we care about people, but as you are not married to him nor are you even supposed to be a friend of his that is not your responsibility. It is his responsibility and his family’s responsibility to ensure that he does not fall into depression. At 17 years old you should be focusing on school, your future career goals, family, and Islam. Those are your responsibilities at this point in your life. Sister, I completely understand you feel emotionally attached to him as you did get close to him. These are natural feelings and they’re normal. However, as you went about it in the wrong way- in a haram way and because he is not Muslim you are best advised to leave the situation alone. It will be hard, yes, but the blessings in the rewards will be worth it. Regarding his parents-If there’s a chance that his parents will tell your parents, then I highly advise you insha’Allah to inform your parents first before they do. It will not be comfortable or easy. In fact, it may come with some repercussions. However, it will be worse if they find out first from the boy’s parents and not from you. May Allah make this easy for you.
Stay Close to Allah
Sister keeps praying to Allah. We all sin, we all fall short and that is why we need Allah. Allah is most merciful and most forgiving but we have to want to stop doing haram things and we have to want to strive to be better Muslims, which I’m sure you do. Never doubt Allah’s Mercy, Allah loves you sister and wants you to be on the right path and have a happy life. You have made a mistake and your emotions got involved. This is common, sister, you are not the first nor will you be the last. Please do learn from this and guard your heart and guard your Islam. There are many blessings to come to insha’Allah when we follow Allah’s commands. We wish you the best, you are in our prayers.