Physical Intimacy is a highly important part of marital life. Like any other relationship, it develops and deepens as time passes. This takes some people longer than others. Often the harder you work at intimacy, the more valuable and rewarding it is.

The following are some steps that may help.

1- Take Your Time

As a newly married couple, you still have too many things to learn and discover about each other. Take your time to get closer and realize each other’s likes and dislikes in everything including sex.

2- Talk about Sex

Don’t keep your thoughts and desires in your head, It’s no secret now for your life partner! Explain your likes and dislikes, express your feelings and expectations and make it easier for your partner to understand your needs so that the relationship will develop quickly and both of you reap the benefits.

3- Hug, Kiss & Hold on Tight

Counselors and experts always emphasize the importance of having as much physical contact as possible on a daily basis. Couples might take this for granted, but as time passes, they find themselves sitting side by side typing on their laptops or mobile screens rather than holding hands.

Moreover, several studies show that the simple act of hugging for between 30 and 60 seconds increases levels of oxytocin, a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain and contributes to a sense of attachment.

4-Make Time for Sex

After the honeymoon is over, life gets busy with daily routines and your To Do list gets more crowded, sending sex to the bottom. Once you’re living together it’s easy to assume that you can have sex whenever you want, and thus you don’t make time for it.

But if you don’t prioritize your love life at the beginning of your marriage, it’ll be harder to do so in the future.

5- Self Discovery

Learn about your sexuality. Figure out how and where you like to be touched and how to communicate that to your partner. This would certainly take time to be achieved but the benefits are incredible so, don’t give up and continue with your self-discovery!

6. Nurture Emotional Intimacy

Feeling understood, supported, and valued will make you both feel closer and therefore more receptive to physical closeness and more keen to please each other when it comes to your intimate moments.

7- Make It a Surprise

Avoid being too predictable, doing the same things in the same places. Try to surprise your spouse every now and then with a different look. Have sex in other rooms rather than your bedroom and try to be unpredictable.

8. Have Realistic Expectations

Don’t start your marital life with assumptions that everything will be perfect like Hollywood movies. Life is never perfect and we should appreciate the good things we have in order to reach a state of contentedness and inner peace.

Sometimes, sex is not perfect and this doesn’t mean you’ve got a big problem. It’s life. Don’t expect perfect sex every time. Even for the most happily married couples, more than 10 percent of sexual encounters aren’t even pleasurable for one or both spouses, Dr. McCarthy says.

9. The Eye Contact

Couples report they feel more attractive, more in-the-moment, and closer when they look into each other’s eyes during sex.

10-Stay Healthy and Fit

Exhaustion is the number-one reason long-term couples become less sexually active. Eat healthy and try to maintain a good level of work out on a regular basis.

First published: May 2015