Divorce is a personal decision to be undertaken with great care and consideration.
However, most will agree that in cases of harm or abuse of any sort – or in cases of abandonment, humiliation, control, and non-fulfillment of obligations – it is in a couple’s best interest in this life and the next to end the marriage.
When is it time to divorce?
As life strategist and leadership coach Henrietta Szovati explains,
“Marriage is not designed to complete you. It is to grow you.”
She adds,
Your happiness does not depend on your partner. It is entirely your responsibility to make your life happy. If it isn’t, don’t blame your spouse.”
Henrietta laments that many women grow up thinking that marriage is a fairy tale. Instead, she insists, “Marriage is a reality job.”
Henrietta works with individuals who struggle to make sense of their role in their marriage.
She empowers them to understand their emotions, step into their full selves, and create the marriage they truly want.
However, this also sometimes means accepting that they need to leave the marriage.
If one is being oppressed or mistreated in a marriage, it is definitely time to take drastic action to fix the situation or end the marriage entirely.
The reality and responsibility of marriage
As the founder of Manifesting Muslimah, Zahra Summayah coaches and supports many new Muslimahs in maintaining their faith in the face of adversity and abuse.
Zahra shares that, for Muslims, the instructions for marriage and the rights of each spouse are clearly detailed. She insists,
“What Muslim men need to understand is that they are commanded by God to be caretakers of women and children. Their one level above is in regards to responsibility for women, not authority over them. They need to understand that every tear a wife sheds due to her husband’s mistreatment is a curse upon him by the angels.”
It’s clear to most that in cases of abuse, neglect, control, lack of respect, and poor communication, these hardships can lead to divorce.
However couples also need to understand another crucial point.
When considering divorce, there are more gray areas than black and white.
Financial stressors, irreconcilable challenges, meddling extended families, and cultural differences can all weigh a couple down and may necessitate divorce.
When considering the possibility of divorce, begin by examining yourself.
This means first learning to embrace that you have faults and you’re work in progress. Make internal changes first to ensure you’re fulfilling your end of the marriage contract.
Being a responsible partner also means articulating and communicating your needs to your spouse.
This can include setting boundaries or even walking away from dangerous and unhealthy relationships.
Having a healthy attitude towards marriage involves, “Accepting that your marriage will stretch you to your unimaginable limits” Henrietta explains. She advises couples to,
Pages: 1 2“Surrender to the fact that you will be hurt, betrayed, and disappointed many times. Being realistic and ready for this will make you a supportive and authentic partner.”