Farah was in a rush. It was almost time to break the fast and she was still left with filling the sandwiches and preparing everyone’s favorite mango smoothie. At the same time, her 5 year old daughter continued to nag her, pulling the corner of her stole asking to play.
While Farah wiped that sweat off her forehead, her in-laws began to comment on the incomplete arrangement of the iftar table. Farah was nervous and stressed. Instead of feeling the need to run away, she was dying to be the impeccable lady who would easily multi-task.
Ramdan is a month of blessings where every individual is willing to invest in that extra time for prayers and Quran recitation. Muslims are automatically engrossed in putting their utmost effort to perform good deeds. They try their best to keep away from sins. Ironically, this is supposed to be practiced throughout the year. Yet, this month is very special because of the blessings God bestow on His servants and it is marked with revelation of the Holy Quran.
With a routine of fasting followed by Qiyam prayers (optional night prayers) and recitation of Quran, it often gets difficult to manage things. It becomes a tedious task for females who are supposed to cook, look after kids, fast, and meet the expectation of the in-laws as well as spouse. In the quest to satisfy all, she begins to compromise on either her Ramdan rituals or relationships. For this reason, there are some practical tips to avoid this dilemma. These are as follows:
Ask for help
Communication is a key to every relationship. Females are often taught to talk and express instead of waiting for the guy to read her mind. This rule can be easily implemented in this situation too where she is supposed to ask for help.
It is not always possible to hire a maid. In such a case, she can always ask her mother-in-law or sister-in-law to help with kitchen chores. If that is not possible, she can ask her husband to attend the kids while she prays or prepares iftar. Do not order or instruct. Instead of saying, “you are the father and you are supposed to take some responsibility of your kids,” rephrase your statements with a more polite tone such as, “can you please play with the kids till I prepare a scrumptious meal for you and everyone else?”
Women can easily multi-task. The problem arises when individuals are unable to identify and complete tasks according to their importance. Scrutinize your daily routine and allocate time for each task. For instance, while your child takes a nap, you can recite the Holy Quran. Similarly, you can marinate the food items or quickly get done with the preparation during morning, and enter the kitchen an hour before it is time for iftar. During this time, the kids can be assigned small activities on the basis of their interests.
It gets too stressful to meet the demands of each family member. For this reason, it is required to go easy on the self. Remember not to get overwhelmed because of petty issues. If you are living with your in-laws, make them understand how you have to manage a number of things. In addition, make sure you know what they love to eat; Ramdan is the best time to please them with the iftar recipes.
On the other hand, despite a burden of errands, never ignore the relationship with your spouse. Take out time, maybe an hour at night, to go out for a walk or maybe enjoy an iftar or suhoor together. In addition, focus on spiritual connection as it strengthens the relationship. You can together attend religious sermons or get involved in religious activities, and teach this to your kids as well.
Pray to God to give you strength to courageously face all the challenges of life. Marriage is a transition and it goes hand in hand with a number of obligations. Understand your duties. However, don’t compromise your health. In the quest of satisfying people, individuals often forget to take out time for their own selves.
While Ramdan might be a busy month, try doing something for your own self that rejuvenates you. A 20 -minute exercise or a hot shower can relieve the stress. Pray and recite Quran as this month is full of blessings and the word of Allah gives you immense peace that cannot be achieved via any other source. Hence take advantage of it. Trust Allah and believe in yourself. All you need is patience and courage. Remember, everything is possible for you!
First published: June 2016