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‘When I First Found out I Was in Polygamy’

Journaling through Polygamy

‘When I First Found out I Was in Polygamy’

When I first found out I was in polygamy, I really needed someone to talk to besides my husband. I needed to express myself, release what was inside of me, find out if what I was feeling was justified.

It didn’t feel right to reveal everything to friends and certainly not relatives who would have been horrified. I didn’t know a counselor I could trust at the time and my only hope was Facebook where masha Allah I found a lot of support. But there’s only so much you can say to what are essentially strangers and who have their own lives to lead. So I began journaling my thoughts. And I am so glad I did. This is why…

By writing regularly in my journal, I vented all my woes and heartache to the keyboard (a pen and paper would have been just as good, if not better). This helped me get to the crux of my current emotions and my focus that day.  And in doing so, I gave my future self a good deal of material for self-reflection.

Now I can look back and see that what I was feeling so intensely at that point in time will die down, that prayers for relief have been answered, and that possibly future thorny paths will be surmountable.

Journal the good and the bad

I didn’t journal every day, but mostly when I was particularly upset about an issue. I wish I had written more about the good days; there’s things to learn there too, so that is a future goal of mine.

Reading back over the issues I had written about, I can see patterns and whether there is anything I can do about certain issues or if I need to just have acceptance. For example, I can see that it was the breaking of trust that really hurt me, not entirely polygamy itself.

So I would recommend regular journaling to anyone, whether struggling in polygamy or not – here’s a link to get started. Give yourself that time for self-reflection. Just write what first comes into your mind, how you feel, and why you think you’re feeling that way. You’ll feel the weight lift off your shoulders, a least a little, from this simple act insha Allah.

This post was originally published on the author’s blog: polygamy unpicked

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About Polygamy Unpicked Editor

Polygamy Unpicked is a blog that discusses polygamy related issues among Muslim women.

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