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It’s Ramadan, but I Keep Thinking of Killing Myself

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

May 15, 2019

Question

I suffer from severe depression and I’m suicidal. It’s now Ramadan and my mood is very low because I keep thinking about killing myself. I can’t pray because I feel so disconnected. I stopped self-harming with a blade but then went to rubber bands. I have a therapist. But what should I do? Will Allah forgive me for not praying because of this?

Counselor

Answer


It’s Ramadan, but I Keep Thinking of Killing Myself

In this counseling answer:

•Please do not wait. Please call your therapist or a crisis center/Suicide Prevention Hotline as soon as possible.

•Allah understands and makes allowances for those who suffer with illnesses. You are unable to pray because of your state of mind due to depression. This can happen when one is depressed.

•Let somebody close to you know how you are feeling.

•Often it takes trying out different therapeutic treatments to find what works and what will lead to healing. The important thing sister is to keep your therapist informed at all times on your progress, and how you are feeling so she can help you.


As salamu alaykum my dear sister and Ramadan Mubarak.

I am so sorry to hear about your depression, feeling disconnected, and thoughts about killing yourself. I am really concerned about you and pray that Allah swt guides, protects and grants you ease from these feelings. You must be really suffering right now, but please know that you will get through this and feel good again and that suicide is not the answer.

Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Self-Harm

You stated that you stop self-harming with a blade, but then went to rubber bands. I’m not sure what you mean by that, but it does not sound good. You also stated that you have a therapist. I am wondering if your therapist is aware of the way you feel?

Contact your Therapist, Crisis Hotline, Suicide Prevention Hotline Now

Sister, I kindly advise you to contact your therapist as soon as possible and tell her about your feeling depressed, suicidal, disconnected, and the use of rubber bands to harm yourself. Schedule an appointment with her as soon as possible, but also speak with her on the phone now to let her know what you are feeling.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

If you are in therapy, you should have a crisis number or suicide prevention hotline number that you can call in cases such as these if you cannot get a hold of your therapist. Please do call your nearest crisis hotline if you feel that you are going to harm yourself and reach out to a family member or someone else who is close to you to let them know how you feel.

Sister, you do not have to go on feeling this way. As you are in therapy, you need to let your therapist know if it is not working so she can try different modalities and/or different medications. Please do not wait. Please call your therapist or a crisis center/Suicide Prevention Hotline as soon as possible.

Allah is Most Merciful

Sister, as you have a mental illness called depression, Allah understands and makes allowances for those who suffer with illnesses. You are unable to pray because of your state of mind due to depression. This can happen when one is depressed.

When depressed, people often have a hard time connecting with anything. However, Allah is still with you, He is closer to you than your jugular vein. He knows what you are going through, and He understands. Allah is most merciful. The main thing right now, sister, is calling your therapist and/or the Crisis Hotline, Suicide Prevention Hotline in your area now, insha’Allah.

Also, let somebody close to you know how you feel.

Insha’Allah, my dear sister, you will get the proper treatment for your depression so that it does not escalate to this point again.


Check out this counseling video


Communicating with your Therapist on Treatment Success or Issues

You are young sister and you have your whole life ahead of you. Insha’Allah, it’s going to be a wonderful life. You just must take these steps in resolving your depression, which I am confident that you will insha’Allah. Often it takes trying out different therapeutic treatments to find what works and what will lead to healing. The important thing sister is to keep your therapist informed at all times on your progress, and how you are feeling so she can help you.

Again, I cannot stress enough, please do call The Crisis Hotline in your area as well as your therapist.

Please let us know how you are. We are here for you.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

 Read more:

Feeling Bad About Myself & Losing Motivation

Am I Punished by Allah?

I’m Always Sad; How Can I Feel Content?




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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