Answer
Answer:
As-Salaam ‘Alaykum sister,
It sounds to me like your fiancé is not as serious about his path to God as you are. This will cause great disconnect between the two of you in the future as it already does now. What you see today is what you will probably get more of in the future. All people can change of course, but we are also rational creatures that can identify when a certain investment (like getting married) has a great risk factor, and if it is worth taking or not. Any situation that has a high risk factor would be irrational to take.
Based on what you shared, it does not sound like your fiancé appreciates who you are and what you have to offer him as far as spiritual growth. In fact, he calls you “boring”, because you do not want to indulge in the sins he does, and when you want to give him advice, he tells you “not to lecture him again.” This is a sign that he needs to work on his intentions and respect for God and His Messenger. The game he wants to play (enjoy life while I am young) is a fool rolling dice. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one, and God sees right through us and knows our agendas. An individual can play with God and their life in that way if they choose, but one should never assume it will turn out as they wanted. Sometimes, God’s punishment comes here before the Hereafter – may God protects us and be easy with us!
We should never lose hope for someone, and you should keep praying for him as Allah is Al Hadi (The Guide) and can guide even the worst of people. However, this does not mean he is a good prospect for you to marry. I ask you: what do you love about him these days? What character traits can you rely on in him to be a good husband, loyal partner, and responsible father one day?
One of the signs that a person is ready to get married is reflected in their devotion to God and what God commands. Both marriage and the Divine relationship require commitment, consistency, love, practice, aspiration, and humility to grow and learn. If someone can’t do this for God, they are unlikely to do it for a human. In your case, and I am speaking from years of experience, I would not expect him to change for you if he does not want to do it for God Himself. You are simply taking a risk and playing dice. In the end, you will suffer. Sometimes, people grow apart and we learn who they truly are. Take this as light and vision that God honored you to see before you got married. This is a great protection for you to continue on your path and avoid losing what you have already built in yourself spiritually.
Don’t expect him to change for you as this would not be a reliable future; he could go back to his ways as soon as you two are married. This is why the Prophet (saw) emphasized character and deen (Islamic religion) in a person you plan to marry. If these qualities are absent in an individual or strongly lacking, move on to a person that clearly exemplifies these virtues.
God knows best,
For the previous question & its answer, click here.
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