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I’m Jobless, but Need to Get Married

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Feb 20, 2019

Question

Salam. I want to seek advice for my current problem about getting married. I’ve graduated from polytechnic two years ago. I have a high sex drive which sometimes affects my faith. I have been dating a girl for some time and have already sent my representatives to her family who agreed to get us married. The problem now is that I am jobless and I need to get employed before going ahead with the marriage.

My question is: how can I protect myself from falling into sinful actions? Thanks.

Counselor

Answer


I'm Jobless, but Need to Get Married

In this counseling answer: 

• You do not need to hold off getting married until you have a job if this could potentially cause you to sin.

• I recommend you fast. This can help you to overcome such urges that you have been experiencing.


As-Salamu ‘Alaikum brother,

Alhamdulillah, it is a good sign of piety that you concern for falling into sinful actions and you seek advice on how to avoid it. You recognize that your high sex drive affects your faith. You have done the correct thing by seeking a halal means to have this need met. Alhamdulillah, you say that both parties are happy for you to move forward with the marriage. I am really glad to hear that!

karim serageldin & naaila clayHaving employment is an important role for the husband in order to provide for the wife and family. However, it is not an essential requirement. The most important thing, certainly in your case here, is to protect yourself from falling into sin.

You do not need to hold off getting married until you have a job if this could potentially cause you to sin as your needs are not met. Your intention to seek employment is there and, in sha’ Allah, you will get a job. A respecting spouse-to-be will be patient with you. She would be happy to move forward with the marriage before then in order to protect your deen – both yours and hers alike.


Check out this counseling video:


In addition, I recommend you fast in your situation. This can help you to overcome your urges.

May Allah (swt) grant you happiness in your marriage and help you to find a job quickly. May He (swt) make your spouse the coolness of your eyes and help you to grow together in Islam.

Salam,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

I Can’t Find a Job; I’m Anxious

Facing the Tidal Wave of Unemployment

Single, Unemployed, in Debt and Angry




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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