As-Salaam ’Alaikum brother,
May Allah (swt) give you wisdom and protect your tender heart!
Let me address your notion of love and “finding the one.” As you said, love is not about being infatuated or having a crush on a girl. These feelings evaporate easily and are based on your own fantasy. The reason you have “fallen in love” many times in Egypt is because of attraction and your own fantasy of who you want them to be. This is not rooted in reality but your own mind’s wishes. This is why a new stimulus (a girl) to your mind makes you forget the last girl and simulate a new fantasy.
“Finding the one” is a delusion, brother. There is no such thing, in my opinion, as finding the one perfect partner. If this was true, we would live in so much anxiety, assuming that out of the billions of people out there only one is meant for you! This is unrealistic and impractical. The reality is that there are many great potential partners for each of us in the world. It is just a matter of right timing, conditions, and choice.
Regarding your cousin, you may have genuine feelings for her because you did spend time getting to know her. However, your timing may not be suitable for marriage, considering that you are still finishing your education which your parents have advised you to focus on right now. Think about this: if you were to get married this year, where will you two live and how will you two provide the needs necessary to start a home?
I understand your fear you may miss this opportunity of marrying your cousin, but this fear is based on your incorrect belief that there is “only one true love.” Your cousin is an opportunity to be a good potential partner, but she is not the only one out there. It may not be right for you right now. You should trust that if it was best for you, the circumstances would be more accommodating, but right now it seems they are not so. Yes, she may get other suitors interested in her over the next years, but you also may meet other sisters that are great potential partners as well. You may meet one in Austria right after you finished medical school and the timing will be just right. Only God (swt) knows what is best for you. Wanting something is not the same as being the best for you, brother.
I think your parental advice, even though it may be painful, is good for you to follow. Perhaps, your cousin is not a good match for you in the long term. Even your mother’s relationship has been shaky with her mother in the past and this could be one of the reasons it may not work out. If the mothers have an issue again, it would change everything between you and your cousin. This may be a protection for you and her from God (swt).
Psychologically, I hope your idea of love and “the one” is more grounded after reading my response. Practically speaking, you do not have the means to get married and still need to finish university. If you feel really strongly about your cousin, then keep good relations and be patient. If it is what is best, it may work out sooner than you think. If not, then trust Allah (swt) that you will get married when you are ready and that there are many opportunities out there that in sha’ Allah you will encounter as you grow.
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