I do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. I pray that he will move on because I do not feel comfortable that he is thinking about me and that I am in his prayers. I have faith that Allah s.w.t knows what is best for me and him, but is there anything else I should also do other than praying and making dua so that he will move on?
Thank you for reading my question and may Allah s.w.t bless you.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• If you want him to move on, then to continue to pray and make du’aa’ for the situation.
• Cut all contact with him.
Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister
Firstly, well done for walking away from haram. May Allah reward your good intentions.
The best thing you can do here is as you suggest. If you want him to move on, then to continue to pray and make du’aa’ for the situation. If you are not destined to be together, then Allah will never allow it to happen. If you have firm faith that this is the case, then you can rest assured that no matter how hard he prays for your uniting, it will not happen if Allah does not will it to.
Having the peace of mind that Allah is the one in control will make it easier for you to continue your daily life without being distracted by thoughts about what this boy is doing.
Aside from this, the best thing you can do is to cut all contact with him. You have seen firsthand how haram relationships can be so easily fallen in to. Maintaining any contact with him, especially when he is still clearly interested in you, could only lead to the same thing happening all over again, even if it is just something as seemingly innocent as sending the odd short message to one another. These things sow the seeds for haram bit by bit.
If his behavior becomes overwhelming, there is always the option of blocking him from making contact with you. In time, without contact, his feelings will fade and he will be less overwhelming.
An alternative option is asking someone else to put these things to him. Someone who may have more authority over him who he is more likely to listen to.
Check out this counseling video:
This also helps you to understand why he feels this way as you look back and see how the feelings between you developed in haram circumstances. Having this empathy towards his own feelings will make things a little more comfortable as you honestly observe why it is that he is feeling this way.
Finally, you can learn from this whole experience. Regarding relationships and marriage, you are now fully aware of the importance of seeking halal relations and avoiding situations that can easily lead to haram.
If you are looking for marriage now, or in the near future, it will be even more necessary for you to refrain from any contact with this man.
Furthermore, this would get the message to him that you are already married now and, therefore, cannot be in contact with him for any casual our purpose or other. If this man has any respect for you, he will leave you in peace.
May Allah guide you on the straight path and bring you happiness and contentment in this life and the next.
Amen,
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Read more:
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/want-to-get-married/he-loves-me-but-doesnt-want-to-marry-me/
https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/want-to-get-married/not-willing-to-marry-me-but-i-love-him-so-much/