He Dreams to Marry Me; I Don’t | About Islam
Home > Youth Q & A > Want to Get Married > He Dreams to Marry Me; I Don’t

He Dreams to Marry Me; I Don’t

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 04, 2018

Question

Assalamualaikum. I am a teenage girl and have recently ended a haram relationship with a boy. Lately, I feel disturbed because a friend told me he is praying to Allah s.w.t so that he will marry me in the future.

I do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. I pray that he will move on because I do not feel comfortable that he is thinking about me and that I am in his prayers. I have faith that Allah s.w.t knows what is best for me and him, but is there anything else I should also do other than praying and making dua so that he will move on?

Thank you for reading my question and may Allah s.w.t bless you.

Counselor

Answer


He Dreams to Marry Me; I Don’t

In this counseling answer:

• If you want him to move on, then to continue to pray and make du’aa’ for the situation.

• Cut all contact with him.


Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister

Firstly, well done for walking away from haram. May Allah reward your good intentions.

The best thing you can do here is as you suggest. If you want him to move on, then to continue to pray and make du’aa’ for the situation. If you are not destined to be together, then Allah will never allow it to happen. If you have firm faith that this is the case, then you can rest assured that no matter how hard he prays for your uniting, it will not happen if Allah does not will it to.

Having the peace of mind that Allah is the one in control will make it easier for you to continue your daily life without being distracted by thoughts about what this boy is doing.

Aside from this, the best thing you can do is to cut all contact with him. You have seen firsthand how haram relationships can be so easily fallen in to. Maintaining any contact with him, especially when he is still clearly interested in you, could only lead to the same thing happening all over again, even if it is just something as seemingly innocent as sending the odd short message to one another. These things sow the seeds for haram bit by bit.

If his behavior becomes overwhelming, there is always the option of blocking him from making contact with you. In time, without contact, his feelings will fade and he will be less overwhelming.

An alternative option is asking someone else to put these things to him. Someone who may have more authority over him who he is more likely to listen to.


Check out this counseling video:


This also helps you to understand why he feels this way as you look back and see how the feelings between you developed in haram circumstances. Having this empathy towards his own feelings will make things a little more comfortable as you honestly observe why it is that he is feeling this way.

Finally, you can learn from this whole experience. Regarding relationships and marriage, you are now fully aware of the importance of seeking halal relations and avoiding situations that can easily lead to haram.

If you are looking for marriage now, or in the near future, it will be even more necessary for you to refrain from any contact with this man.

Furthermore, this would get the message to him that you are already married now and, therefore, cannot be in contact with him for any casual our purpose or other. If this man has any respect for you, he will leave you in peace.

May Allah guide you on the straight path and bring you happiness and contentment in this life and the next.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

I Do NOT Want to Get Married or Have Kids!

He Loves Me, but Doesn’t Want to Marry Me

Not Willing to Marry Me, But I Love Him So Much

 




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

find out more!