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Getting Older Day by Day; No One Wants to Marry Me

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Nov 07, 2016

Question

As-Salamu 'Alaykum. I want to ask what I should do. I am getting older day by day and there is no one who is willing to marry me. All the boys’ mums want young girls. So, what can a girl of my age do in this evil world?

Counselor

Answer


Getting Older Day by Day; No One Wants to Marry Me

Answer:

As-Salamu `Alaikum sister,

You feel that you’re getting older day by day through waiting. But while you are waiting, are you making the most of your precious time? The wonderful thing about life is that it has to be lived now regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. We should not wait around for that long-awaited proposal.

Muslim women have always been active. They were often transmitters of the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (saw), including Nafisa bint Al-Hasan, who taught some hadith to Imam Ash-Shafi`i. When `Asma bint Abu Bakr married Zubair, she contributed towards their family income through her previous experience of farming. Khadijah, wife of Prophet Muhammad (saw), was a good business woman. The wife of `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud met her expenses by manufacturing and selling handicrafts. Furthermore, Rufaidah Aslaiyyah became an expert in medicine and surgery, while Rubbayi bint Mu`awwaidah ibn `Afra attended to the sick amongst the Companions of Prophet Muhammad (saw). Prophet Muhammad (saw) himself, consulted with Umm Salama when he negotiated the Treaty of Hudaibiah, and Caliph ‘Umar appointed Shif bint`Abdullah ibn As-Shams as administrator to the Market of Medina.

When we are active, we can learn so many things about ourselves, including our weaknesses and strengths. What we learn is never wasted and contributes to our future circumstances. In fact, in that way we are more prepared for what the future brings.

Who is to say how you will meet your husband. Will it be through sitting at home or through being active in different circles? Which do you think is more likely? Maybe, you have not met the right person for you because you have not fulfilled your potential, which will bring to you, by the Will of God, the person that is right for you. Think about it!

Salam,

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About Hwaa Irfan

Late Hwaa Irfan, may her soul rest in peace, served as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. Her main focus was on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.

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