Ads by Muslim Ad Network

My Dilemma: Husband-to-Be or Ex-Fiancé?

04 August, 2018
Q As-Salamu 'Alaikum! I am getting married in August in sha’ Allah. The problem is that my ex- finance is back and he really wants me back into his life. He is also pleading for my return. I have explained to him that I am getting married. At times, I feel something for him while at times I feel nothing. Please, I have doubts in my mind now, and I'm so confused. I love my husband-to-be, but I also feel sometimes something for my ex. Is it love? I need your sincere counsel! I am in dilemma.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

Focus on your future marriage and future husband.


 Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,

Thank you for writing to us. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! It must be an exciting time for you.

Your question pertaining to your ex-fiancée is pretty much self-answered sis. You stated you loved your current fiancée. Regarding your ex-fiancée, you stated at times you feel something for him, and at times you feel nothing. It appears clear whom you really love and who you feel the most security with.

While I do not know why you and your x broke up, there was a reason. To re-visit past relationships hoping to rebuild what was lost is often a path to disappointment. I believe, sister, that if your heart often feels nothing, then nothing is there. Additionally, as a woman, I would be wary of an ex who came around while I was engaged and tried to get with me. That shows a total lack of respect.

My suggestion, dear sister, would be to immediately cease conversation with your X and focus on your future marriage and future husband. I would imagine if your fiancée found out you were talking to your X, he would be very sad. As you sound very happy sister in life right now, I suggest in sha’ Allah putting the past in the past and leaving it there. There are many tricks Satan uses to lure us away from Allah (swt) and the blessings Allah (swt) has given us.

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

So I ask you dear sister that you re-read your question; you have already answered it!

You are in our prayers. Please let us know how you are doing!

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

I Have A Dream About Getting Back to My Ex!

10 Things I Learned from My Ex

Ex-Wife Against Teaching Islam to Our Toddler

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.