In this counseling answer:
• Love requires sacrifice, communication, compromise, trust that grows stronger over time.
• Allow yourself to heal from this ordeal.
• Spend time with positive people.
• Know what you want in a significant other.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Sister,
Thank you for sending us your question. It is apparent that you are heartbroken about your recent break-up with this Muslim man.
Ending a relationship is always a difficult and stressful experience, especially if you allowed yourself to be emotionally dependent on your previous partner. Stay hopeful and patient, for hopefully, this delicate and overwhelming time will pass.
It is apparent from your written question that you have been infatuated with your previous partner. He also appeared to be infatuated with you.
I say infatuated and not love because the both of you are more obsessed with the idea of being in love without really exercising love.
In reality, love is a verb, not a noun. No one can “fall in love.” Rather, one must work hard to reach true love. Love requires sacrifice, communication, compromise, trust that grows stronger over time.
It appears that the both of you enjoyed spending time with each other and felt that the other person empathizes with you and has good intentions towards you.
In reality, you can have these feelings with anyone else. However, the both of you don’t really have a history of overcoming obstacles, sacrificing for each other, and building a trusting bond as a foundation of your relationship.
Instead what happened was that the both of you started a relationship that wasn’t serious in the first place since it was off and on and hanging by a thread.
It seems your relationship only continued because of convenience and because the other person was available. It ended because things were no longer convenient for him since the time came for him to get married to “a religious girl.” As a result, he ended things abruptly with you which left you heart-broken.
Check out this counseling video:
Please allow yourself to heal from this ordeal. It takes time for you to overcome the profound feelings that you are experiencing now so be patient with yourself.
Take care of yourself by spending time with positive people, engaging in positive activities, and doing things you enjoy doing. As you regain your strength and self-confidence again, review your previous relationship with yourself and learn from the experience.
Know yourself. Know what you want in a significant other. For next time, allow yourself to pick and choose the type of a man you want to be with.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.