Dear sister, thank you for writing us with your question. It is a bit difficult from this end to understand why you are not interested in marrying this man. Is it because he was arranged by your family? I didn’t get a clear picture of that from your question.
I think you need to realize that this marriage is not going to work, and you should not go through with it. It might hurt a bit now, but imagine how much it will hurt later when you are married, and you realize you do not want to be with this man. It will be much worse, especially if you have already started a family.
Unless you can find a way and a reason to proceed, I think you need to be honest with yourself, your family, and your fiancée, and do what you must do. Before you do that, though, you may want to try and meet him once more to get confirmation that you definitely do not want to marry him.
It is unfair to everyone involved to keep dragging the situation on, especially since the man involved has made a lot of sacrifices. Please find a way, to be honest about the matter and do what must be done.
That, right now, is the best advice I feel I can offer you. You should not rest on it alone but seek the wisdom and help of others as well. We are only able to advise you based on the information provided in the manner in which it is provided.
Please also make sure to be using your prayers and make istikharah prayer frequently. All matters are from Allah and right guidance is through Him alone. You need to be in constant reliance on Allah for help in this situation, and be honest with what your heart tells you. Don’t be afraid to act despite the initial pain and discomfort. Sometimes, the truth can be painful at first, but in sha’ Allah, it will be the right move in the end.
I would rarely advise someone to divorce as it is the most despised of the lawful matters in the eyes of Allah. However, in your situation, a marriage took place under somewhat disingenuous circumstances. That being the case, I am not necessarily advising you to divorce, but you need to consider what is best in the long run. Ultimately, it is, of course, up to you to decide what to do.
And Allah knows best.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.