In this counseling answer:
• Humble yourself before Allah and seek His forgiveness for having been in a haram relationship.
• Despite the struggles you have faced of late, you can draw much positive from this incident, including having gotten closer to Allah.
Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh brother,
It sounds you have been going through a rough patch and understandably feel terrible as a result of all that has happened.
Alhamdulillah, despite not practicing much previously, Allah has guided you back on the path as you have gradually begun to practice and learn more about Islam. As a result, you did become more aware of halal and haram relations.
To begin with, you could humble yourself before Allah and seek His forgiveness for having been in a haram relationship. You can also consider things from an alternative position. Taking you and this girl apart from one another may be a blessing from Allah in that He has taken you away from the haram.
You have seen firsthand now how a relationship that is founded in the haram usually leads to one that has the weakness. The type of weaknesses that you have experienced, but Alhamdulillah, as difficult as it may be to accept, you are now free from this and can learn much good from it also.
Of course, you are hurt by all that has happened. But you can use this as an opportunity to draw a line and leave behind the haram and start afresh. Learn from your past mistakes and move forward in a manner that is more pleasing to Allah.
Steer clear of haram relations as you have seen the heartbreaking effect this can have. Instead, opt for only those that are acceptable. There is a great wisdom in the way of Allah and you will only experience the beauty of this if you strove to continue in the way that He has prescribed.
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Perhaps you can build relations again with your friend despite the trust between you having been betrayed. This is your choice.
In fact, chosen to forgive someone can help to soften the heart. After all, you hope for Allah to be Merciful towards you, so why should you not be Merciful to others. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to build a strong and close relationship again. But simply forgiving will make it easier for you to move in successfully and either become close to him again or alternatively build relations with others.
Ultimately, despite the struggles you have faced of late, you can draw much positive from this incident, including having gotten closer to Allah. Use this to your advantage, strive to build that relationship further and improve yourself in the sight of Allah. Learn from past mistakes to better yourself. Forgive others and move on in search of happiness in this life and the next.
May Allah bring you happiness and contentment in this life and the next and grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.
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